Better Than A Memory
by justwr1te
Summary: Rizzles! Seven months following the events of "Rags 'N Riches". Maura and Jane struggle to keep their love alive through the struggles of lifes hurtles and differences. FEED THE BARD! PLEASE READ RNR FIRST!
1. Facing Nightmares

**Title: **_Better Than A Memory_

**Author: **LJBard

**Summary: **Rizzles! Seven months following the events of Rags 'N Riches. Maura and Jane struggle to keep their love alive through the struggles of life differences and memories. FEED THE BARD!

**Disclaimer: **I own NOTHING!

**Reviews: **Yes, please, more reviews faster chapters! :)

**A/N: **I truly loved writing Rags 'N Riches and I do hope that you all enjoy this second installment, please ensure that if you are reading this you HAVE read the prior story before moving forward! Enjoy the story!

-1-

"_JANE!" Maura's voice had cried out. She ran, having long since thrown off her heels, in an attempt to get to Jane faster. But it was too late._

_The sound of the gun firing, stopped Maura like the physical front of a solid wall standing before her as she watched in horror, her lover aiming the gun toward her midsection, a loud cry falling from her lips as Bobby held onto her with a vice grip._

_The blood spatter emitting from Bobby's backside was a through and through, shooting through Jane and into Bobby, both fell with the sheer brunt of the force, Bobby was dead almost instantaneously, Jane, however, fell to her side as Bobby's grip loosened and she fell to the concrete, her head whiplashing then resting against Bobby's limp arm, her blood beginning to pour from the entry and exit wounds on her back and front._

_Sirens sounded from the squad cars and shouts from various bodies on scene were all a blur to Maura as she finally released a breath that broke the wall slammed between her and Jane. _

"_No!" Maura cried, falling at Jane's side, ignoring the scrape of her knees against the hard asphalt, she began ripping at her red dress in attempts to ball it up and add pressure against the wounds on her lover's back and front. _

_Frost and Korsak were at her side, yelling over the sirens at one another and signaling what to do but it was as though someone had placed a bubble over Maura's head, and all she could hear was the pounding of her heart, racing wildly in her chest, painful at the sight of Jane lying before her in a heap, broken. She held fast to the wads of cloth in her hands that grew soaked with the reddish-brown substance that she could not deny was Jane's blood. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she swore that Jane would be teasing her for drawing to the conclusion, but all jokes aside…_

"_No, no, no, no… don't you do this to me, Jane Rizzoli," Maura's fear was evident from her uneven, shaky voice; large tears fell from her eyes, clouding her vision, she continued to force herself to keep Jane alive, keep her breathing. "Jane… baby, please, don't leave me like this… stay with me – Jane…"_

"_Miss, please let us handle it from here…" the paramedic had approached, slightly startling Maura, and quickly pulled her from Jane, letting his team begin hooking her up and hoisting her onto the litter, he fed her oxygen and got the IV started. "Family only in the ambulance, ma'am , I'm sorry-"_

_Maura wanted to scream, to tell this man that she _was _family, she was Jane's lover. But even in the state of Massachusetts, without a binding marriage, she knew that the court would not consider her well enough to be considered a relative or even significant other, and that broke her heart. But she knew that even if she had fought to reason with this man who was now far gone in the ambulance, rounding the corner, it would only waste more precious time that could be spent saving said woman who owned her heart and soul._

"Doc," Korsak's voice barely registered to her ears, until a soft touch on her arm that jolted her out of her skin, made her turn toward the sympathetic, and terror-ridden face of Jane's former partner, fellow Detective, and friendly father figure.

"C'mon, let's get you into some nicer clothes and I'll drive ya to the hospital-" he reasoned. Maura nodded, weakly, but as she moved, she passed right by the crime scene where other Detectives were beginning to tape off the area where the shooting had just occurred. Maura looked up at the concrete building of the Boston Homicide Department and saw the splatter, she then in turn looked at her hands and they were covered in the reddish-brown stain.

"I-" Maura croaked. "Jane.. Korsak-" she looked at the Detective, tears threatening to fall again.

"It's fine, Frost is already on his way, he'll keep us informed, but there's no way if we get there and Jane's awake, that I'll let her see you this way, she'd kick my ass.." he tried to add humor to the situation but it died in his throat as they both gave solemn looks at the other.

Working around death, both the Doctor and Detective knew that, as seasoned veterans in the field, there was no guarantee of Jane's survival after what they had both just witnessed. Maura tried to not think about that, she tried to make the entire situation just disappear from her mindscape as she headed toward the morgue to quickly shower.

She did not bother spending hours or even minutes washing carefully like she normally would, no. She forced her mind to ignore that she was being completely unhygienic in most areas as she scrubbed her hands and arms, barely adding a dollop of shampoo to her hair to help get rid of the blood that had managed to cake in her blonde locks, and ignored the stinging of the soapy water on her still raw knees.

Maura towel dried her hair, pulling it into a messy ponytail, not bothering at all with makeup, threw on a pair of her yoga pants and a turquoise zip-hoodie, slipped into her running shoes and tore off through the building to find Korsak already waiting in the car. They peeled out from the lot, Korsak placed his emergency flasher in the windshield and they managed to burn rubber and run some lights all the way to the Hospital.

-x-

"Where is she?" the terrorized staccato of Angela Rizzoli cried out as she burst through the ER doors, Frank hot on her heels, trying to calm his frantic wife. "Where are my babies?" tears were already streaking down her face as she struggled to maintain her composure.

Maura and Korsak had barely managed to get in the door and have Frost tell them what was happening before this all came into play. Frank Rizzoli, looking paler than usual, took his wife by the arm and led her to a chair, trying to soothe her fears before turning to the three of them.

His eyes landed straight on Maura.

"What's happened?" he croaked, his voice shaking. Suddenly the brazen Italian man they all knew had become a weakened, fear-stricken father, who seemed to be prepared to accept the worst news.

"Frankie's just come out of surgery," Frost spoke up, seemingly calmer than he felt. Angela's eyes bugged out at the mention of her youngest. "They had to perform a minor surgery to close up his internal injuries, but he's gonna be moved to the ICU soon, he's got a machine helping him breathe right now until his lung can fully heal from the trauma."

"My God," Angela breathed, crying harder.

"What about Janie?" Frank's voice grew smaller at the mention of his only daughter's name. Angela did not speak, but a small whimper came from her throat, he reached for his wife's hand and squeezed. The three coworkers were unable to tell who was supporting who at that point.

"Nothing yet," Frost piped up, also sounding small at the mention of his partner. "She's still in surgery."

"Oh, my baby girl," Angela cried. She broke down. "Janie…"

Maura felt the lump in her throat grow larger, and her heart beat slower, more painful at the inability to comfort the woman before her. Her mind continued reeling through the events of the day, replaying Jane's shooting again and again, making her head spin until she had to lean against the wall to support herself before her knees began to buckle.

"Family of Jane Rizzoli," came a new voice.

Five heads shot up simultaneously.

"Whataya got, Doc?" Frank Rizzoli spoke up, sounding a bit stronger at the appearance of the doctor who was a man in his mid-forties, peppered curly brown hair, round, wire-rimmed glasses sat perched on his nose, his blue eyes as bright as the scrubs he donned under his lab coat.

"I'm Doctor Morris, are you Jane's father?" he asked, inquisitive at the other members in the room.

"I am, and this is her mother, and these three are her family, too," Frank's voice was precise, and clear that the Doctor should not dare make any arguments about Jane's privacy.

"I see," Dr. Morris exclaimed. "In that case, you should know I am the doctor assigned to your daughter's case. Jane is a lucky woman, if she had gotten here not two minutes later, I would be directing you all to the Hospice morgue-"

"God," Angela's voice cracked, and the doctor sobered at the severity of the families concern.

"As we have it, the entry wound and exit wound were clean, the bullet that went through your daughter was thorough, it hardly bounced around, nicking her spleen and kidney, however, it did penetrate her right lung as it exited through her back," Dr. Morris' voice grew grim.

"We have a machine breathing for her at the time, and we're still searching to ensure that no traces of the bullet may have left themselves in her intestines for scarring. There were other minor cuts and bruises, and a _lot _of internal bleeding, but other than that, we will keep her in observation for the next twenty-four hours and if she can survive, then she should be alright."

Maura's mind began ticking away at the countless science and anatomy figures in her brain, trying to picture a 3D imagery of everything the doctor told her.

"When can we see her?" Maura did not realize she had spoken until the doctor's blue eyes were staring through her.

"Unable to say, once we get her out of surgery, family will be authorized to visit, one at a time in the ICU," he stated. A page then came over the intercom, cutting off Maura's question that seemed mirrored in Det. Frost and Korsak's eyes, _family only?_

-x-

Minutes stretched on feeling like hours, and hours stretched on like days, Angela dozed in and out of a worried sleep until the female nurse that was attending Frankie came and alerted them to being able to see visitors.

Maura stayed glued to her chair, unable to move, despite the guilt nagging in her gut to at least check on the youngest Rizzoli, she feared that looking at his warm, kind eyes would only make her ache for Jane worsen. Frost and Korsak took turns going to visit Frankie after Frank managed to talk Angela into coming home for some decent rest.

Korsak brought coffee, that Maura hardly touched, Frost brought stale hospital breakfast food, again, that Maura did not even acknowledge, but at least took a few bites to satisfy her worried colleagues.

Maura stood only when she could no longer feel her legs from sitting so long, she only left the room when the urge to relieve herself became too great, and she only showed some signs of mentally "being there" when a doctor would pass by, speaking to the nurse on staff duty. Just when Maura felt that she wouldn't be able to last another moment, Doctor Morris re-entered the room, his eyes tired, and his face slack with exhaustion.

"How's she holdin' up there, Doc?" Korsak was the first to speak. Maura was at his side in a second, her heart in her throat, fearing the worst at the doctor's sorry appearance.

"She made it through surgery, we lost her twice, and the second time we almost had to call it-" Maura latched onto Frosts' arm, unknowingly, with a vice grip, as she forced herself to breathe in deeply, her head spinning with the cold reality, she felt her eyes sting with tears wishing to fall.

"But?" Frost's voice came out a bit pitched, he winced visibly at Maura's grip.

"She will make it, if that's what you're needing to hear," Maura deflated, her body almost floating with relief. "She's going to be in some substantial pain for a while, right now we've got her in a medically induced coma, we're going to continue to observe her, until some of her injuries have healed, I fear that the shock of the pain would be too great for Jane to handle if we were to let her wake."

"But she'll live?" Korsak pressed.

"Yes," Dr. Morris said again. "But in the meantime, you all may as well go home and rest, there is nothing more we can do or you can do for her, and I cannot allow you in because none of you are family-"

"Wait a damn minute, you heard Mr. Rizzoli-" Korsak snapped.

"I'm sorry, Detective, I have already broken code by informing non-family members of a patient's status, please do not make this any worse-" Doctor Morris looked warily at the sidearm on Korsak's waist.

"That's bullshit, we _are_ family!" Frost exclaimed.

"Hell, if not us, then at least Maura!" Korsak fought. "She's Jane's lo-"

"Enough," Maura's voice finally cracked and three sets of confused eyes stared at her, rigidly. "Thank you, Doctor Morris." Doctor Morris nodded gratefully at Maura's save.

"Barry, please take me home, I would like to see that Bass and Joe are fed correctly, Vince, the both of you need to rest, we can return to see Jane once she has gotten a bit up to par-"

"Maura, are you nuts?" Korsak all but shouted. "You of all people should be fighting to see Jan-"

"Vince, please," Maura's voice pleaded. "You don't know how incredibly difficult it is for me… you can't imagine-" her heart continued to beat erratically against her chest, feeling as if each beat against her ribs cracked it a bit more. "But right now, Jane would not want us to see her this way- right now, Jane would want us to be resting and refreshed so when we do see her, we're all feeling well."

"That's a cop out if I ever heard one," Korsak growled. Frost punched his arm, Korsak glared in return.

"Maura's right," Frost sighed. "We can't do anything for Jane right now, but go home and feel better ourselves, once Jane is awake, we'll be there…" Maura nodded.

"Glad we're all in agreement, now, please Barry?" the three left the hospital, Korsak a bit more grudgingly that he knew he'd been outsmarted and that Maura and Frost were right.

_Feel better, kid, I'll be back soon…_ Korsak thought to himself.

-x-

For nearly three weeks, Maura was at the hospital on a routine basis. She would wake, take Joe Friday for a walk, feed her and Bass, drive to the hospital to check in on Jane, go to work, take lunch at the hospital alongside Frost and Korsak in Jane's room, despite the manic protests of the nurses, they eventually gave up trying to hold the three back from being with Jane.

Maura would finish up her days at five o'clock on the dot, and be back at the hospital at five-thirty where she would often walk in to see Angela or Frank reading or speaking or some other form of parental affection toward their unconscious daughter, they would leave once Maura came around, bidding them their privacy. Maura would then sit by Jane's side, help one of the attending nurses bathe her as she spoke to Jane, telling her of the life going on outside of the hospital, what case they were working on and when the nurse would leave, Maura would fight to not break down as she would whisper to Jane how badly she missed her, how her heart ached every time she woke up alone, or the door would open and it would not be her standing there, or she'd come home to Joe and Bass, but Jane would be nowhere in sight, how empty their home felt and cold, she would also bring up the brighter topics like Angela's wishes to decorate their home, including a nursery for any future grandchildren they may produce, or her brother, Frankie, who managed to get out after a week of being bed ridden in the hospital and was now back to work, but stuck on light duty until his physical therapist cleared him. Frankie also would come by and sit with Maura and Jane, talking to his sister and then to Maura, recalling all these embarrassing childhood memories of Jane that Maura did not know.

Weeks continued to pass, and finally, by the beginning of September, the Doctors were ready to pull Jane from the comfort zone...

Maura sat vigilantly by Jane's side, holding her hand, Angela held Jane's other hand on the opposite side of the bed, her husband beside her and Frankie sat at the foot of the bed with a goofy grin on his face, happy to be here to see his sister wake, and not in a bed beside her, he had a 'Get Well Soon' balloon from his parents' enormous collection in the corner by the window, strung around his hand. Frost and Korsak both stood by the door as Doctor Morris and two attending nurses strode in on the bright day.

"Afternoon everyone, it's the big day!" Dr. Morris chuckled at the bright, yet half-hearted smiles that the clan gave him. "Alright then, Larissa, go ahead and start her vitals-"

The team went to work, clicking the machines off that led to Jane's breathing tube, "Larissa," a young, dark haired nurse attended next to Maura and began listening through her stethoscope to ensure that Jane stayed steady; she gave Maura a kind smile. The other nurse began jotting down notes on the clipboard by the bed as Dr. Morris pulled the tube from Jane's throat and then tightened a bit on the morphine drip.

Maura had not realized she wasn't breathing until she released a breath at the rapid eye movement that began behind Jane's beautiful eyelids. Her chest rose and fell, slowly at first, a small wheezing sound coming from her throat as she learned to breathe on her own again, her jaw clenching, then unclenching, a trait that Maura had known meant Jane was just getting ready to open her eyes, from having watched her sleep many times after a session of lovemaking.

Sure enough, a few moments later, Jane awoke, her eyes split open, slowly and then blinked, once, twice, a few times to adjust to the brightness of the room. A large breath of relief seemed to float out all at once, and Maura felt the first tear fall from her eyes.

"Jane-" she breathed. Jane's eyes fluttered, their soft brown orbs settling on Maura first, but as she focused, her eyes did not brighten. Maura smiled regardless, and Jane stared at her for a few moments before realizing they were not alone. She looked away, back toward the hospital ceiling, taking another deep breath then looked at the other people of the room, remaining quiet for a moment. Maura squeezed her hand gently.

"Jane, good to see you," Doctor Morris broke the silence. "I'm your doctor, Brad Morris, and I understand you have some questions, we're all here to make sure that you are as comfortable as possible, now, you've been out for a few weeks, we understand you're a bit of ucomfortable but are you feeling any sort of _unbearable _pain? Anything that we can help relieve right now that is necessary?"

"My side," Jane croaked. Her voice was raw, scratchy from the abuse of having a tube down her throat for nearly a month.

"Got it," Dr. Morris nodded to the blonde attendant, who jotted a note on her clipboard and adjusted her morphine drip, Frankie was watching her with a goofy grin and she returned it, before he realized she was looking at the balloon in his hands for Jane.

"Hey there, Janie!" he smiled, brightly. "Thought it would take forever for you to wake up, welcome back!"

"Thank... you?" Jane blinked.

"Janie, baby, we were so worried," Angela swept a hand over her daughters forehead. "I love ya, honey, but if you ever do something like this again, I'll finish the job for you!"

"Angela, don't scare her," Frank scolded his wife. "Hey baby, we love you, we're happy to have you back."

"Rizzoli," Frost placed a bouquet of roses at Jane's side. "These are from me and Korsak." Jane looked at Barry, and then looked back around the room, confused and overwhelmed.

"I don't understand-" Jane's voice grew small.

"Jane," Maura found her voice. "You were shot – they placed you in a medically induced comatose state to help you heal and now you're back." Jane looked at Maura, her eyes still slightly wide and confused. She raised an eyebrow.

"No, I-I get that – but I don't know…" she looked down at Maura's hand twined with her own. She looked up at the blonde, searching her eyes. Maura smiled affectionately, but wondered why she suddenly had trouble reading her lover's facial expressions.

"What don't you know, Jane?" Maura asked, desperate to help. "What's the matter?" Jane breathed a sigh, and toyed comfortably with the hand that held her own, stalling; she looked back up at the room, from smiling faces to quizzical frowns to tearful eyes and hopeful grins.

"Who are you people?"she puzzled. Time froze and not a soul in the hospital room moved; with the exception of Angela who fainted.

* * *

**AN:** Bahahaha! I think I will leave it there for now, review me if you wish to see what happens neeext ;) hehe, oh I am a devil this year! xD FEED THE BARD!


	2. Remembering Reality

**Title: **_Better Than A Memory_

**Author: **LJBard

**Disclaimer:** They're not mine!

**Reviews:** Yes, please! You guys are awesome, thanks for the wonderful reviews, I am looking forward to writing more for you all, please keep it up!

**A/N: **Thanks guys for being so supportive of my writing and patient with my lack of update, since I have been struggling to keep up with writing as I deal with Holidays and family insanities. Nonetheless, enjoy! :)

**SHOUT OUT:** a special shoutout to DreamWriterDKS, who made me LITERALLY for the first time EVER, spit out my drink as I read her review! :) this one is for you!

-2-

"How can this be possible?" Frankie Rizzoli barked at Dr. Morris. "She was shot in the side, not in the head!"

"Frankie, calm down," Frank Sr. tried to reassure his son as Dr. Morris backed fearfully from the youngest Rizzoli sibling. Maura fought to keep her own breathing even as she dealt with the possibilities of what was now happening.

Jane had finally awoken, but as she came to, there was something seriously wrong with the situation… she knew her name, she seemed to understand where and who she was, but as far as the rest, Jane had no idea.

Maura struggled with tears as she exited the room, following the rest of the Rizzoli clan as they waited until out of earshot to deal with Dr. Morris, who was just as lost on the situation as everyone else in the room.

"The first thing that comes to mind is that Jane has suffered through a serious traumatic incident, and often times following these incidents, the body will shut itself down and the brain will also cease to function properly, the neurons reverse and begin running on overdrive to try and help the body register that it is injured, this process is registered with shock and is not unexpected in most victims who suffer this degree of injury that Jane has suffered," Dr. Morris began to spill out.

"Jane fell pretty hard from that blast, could she have hit her head on the sidewalk?" Frost intervened. Korsak shot daggers at him.

"You sayin' that Janie can't remember anything?" Korsak bit out.

"Retrograde amnesia," Maura breathed, the lump in her throat growing tighter at the realization of what the doctor was referring to, she had studied the human body and its entire functioning system throughout medical school, she had remembered being fascinated by the human brain and what it could or sometimes, could _not_ recover.

"Yes," Dr. Morris confirmed. "Now nothing is set in stone just yet," he eyed Frankie and Frost and Korsak warily. "I will have many tests run, MRI's, CAT scans, whatever is possible, to see that this is merely that."

"Okay Doc, in laments terms…" Frank, Sr. asked. "Is my daughter gonna be able to remember anything at all? Ever?"

Dr. Morris sighed, he truly hated dealing with families like this, he wished that his job could always be just telling families the good news of healing victims, but science was uncertain…

"At this point, Mr. Rizzoli, there are no leads that I can offer to you or your family… the brain is a very complex organ, there are things that even the most brilliant scientists often cannot explain about it, I can only test and hopefully time will tell us whether or not Jane will recover from this," he spoke gently, his voice as certain as he could make it sound.

"Is there anything we can do for her?" Angela asked, having come too not too far after passing out as the nurse, Larissa, had smelling salts in her pocket. "Maybe teach her? Or go over some of her life?"

Maura brightened, feeling her heart leap and her mind click at having not recalled this first.

"Immersion therapy," Maura agreed, wholeheartedly. "Often times most patients suffering with amnesia will often associate parts of their memory through places, or pictures, sights or smells."

"True," Dr. Morris agreed. "I will have our nurses schedule an MRI for this evening, until then, go ahead and spend a little time with her, maybe talk to her and see what all she can remember, but please whatever you do, don't allow yourself to overbear her with information," he looked directly from Angela and Frank to Maura, who nodded in understanding.

"One step at a time, while she heals," Maura agreed.

-x-

Frank and Angela were the first to go in; the group decided it would be best to keep the "immersion therapy" at a minimum by not crowding over Jane, who was still very weak from having been fed through a tube for a month. Frankie and Frost headed in afterward, Frost left before Frankie, having said enough and Korsak replaced him, then having to drag Frankie from the room when Frankie began rambling and going on, only confusing Jane.

Maura had waited, patiently, physically terrified of even going into the room, not sure of what to say or how to deal with this situation. A part of her wanted so badly to go in there and hold Jane and kiss away the hurt and make her remember, but the logical side of Maura knew that if she tried, Jane may not respond in the way she would appreciate, she may even retaliate out of shock and fear.

In all truth, the only thing Maura wanted to know, _needed_ to know, was what DID Jane remember? In all the commotion and ruckus, nobody knew to what extent Jane could recall memories. Angela and Frank were positive that Jane knew they were her parents, but Maura did not question further about their discussions with their only daughter. Frost had been a bit solemn as he left the room, disconcerting Maura's hopeful thoughts.

"She doesn't remember a lot, she understands what has happened and what we tell her, but it's as though she's learning an entirely separate person's life… she doesn't remember being shot, she doesn't remember joining the force at all – and she was horrified when Frankie told her about her hands…"

Maura continued to wait, well up until twenty or so minutes after Korsak and Frankie had gone. She fidgeted with the edge of her dress and finally took a deep breath, settling the scientifically impossible butterflies in her stomach.

_The only way you will find out what she remembers is if you talk to her, Isles, get in there and stop being a coward…_ she berated internally. She closed her eyes and took an unsteady breath.

_What if she can't remember me? What if she doesn't WANT to remember? Our love, our friendship… I can't live without her…_ she reasoned.

_So stop wasting time that you could be spending getting to know her again… think of it as a new start… a new Jane…_

"I don't _want _a new Jane," Maura mumbled, suddenly coming back to reality as she realized she had walked blindly to stand in front of the door that led to Jane's room.

Preparing herself as best as she could for whatever this encounter would bring, she lifted her hand to the cool metal door knob and twisted, slowly, the door creaked open and as Maura came through, her eyes locked immediately with wide, blank brown orbs that penetrated Maura's soul.

Maura noticed that the gaze did not look at all confused, or angry or upset, merely inquisitive, quite a new look on her lover, if she must recall after being alongside her for years. She had seen those eyes, many times in the heat of passion, wild with fear, blazed with stubborn anger or darkened with hurt or lust.

"Hi," Jane spoke first, nearly startling Maura from her daydream.

"Hello, Jane," Maura smiled, forcing herself to remain positive. She neared Jane, hesitating to get too close with the fear of breaking down in Jane's arms, she reminded herself that Jane wasn't herself, and this would take time.

"You were here before…" Jane stated, matter-of-factly. "You were holding my hand when I woke up." Maura nodded, sitting down, looking at her hands that rested in her lap.

"Yes, I was," Maura chided.

"It felt nice…" Jane said. Maura's head shot up at the admission, and Jane seemed to withdraw. "Is that bad?"

"No!" Maura said, a bit too eagerly. But at the slight confused look on Jane's face, she collected herself and breathed, trying to remain focused, she cleared her throat. "No, it isn't bad."

"Good," Jane sighed. "Because the other woman that held my hand earlier, she frightens me a little." Maura blinked, raising a perfectly arched brow, and she tried to recall… then almost snorted in laughter at the memory.

"Angela," Maura giggled. "You're mother… you two always did seem to have different opinions on things."

"We did?" Jane asked, smiling. She didn't know the name of this beautiful woman sitting here, but that didn't matter to her, not yet at least, all that Jane cared about was how much she loved hearing her laugh, it was soothing, just like holding her hand had been, earlier.

"Yes, well…" Maura paused to collect more air. "I can't truly elaborate too far back, as I don't know much about how you were with her growing up other than what you used to tell me…"

"I see," Jane nodded, her look returning back to pensive. "I hope you won't be upset by this, but – how do I know you?"

Maura's heart stilled. All her thoughts flew from her mind as Jane watched her, patient. She had planned on Jane asking her for her name, or maybe who she was, but never did she consider having to tell Jane who they were together… Maura found herself between a figurative rock and a hard place as she tried to think of how to break the ice to Jane, so to speak, without her running away. She couldn't just tell Jane about their love life, or could she?

Would new Jane be as easy to please as the old Jane? Would she still love Maura even if Maura told her they were lovers or not? She could not, nor _would _she lie to Jane, despite how badly her heart was breaking at the moment. She _could_ however, avoid the truth.

"We work together," Maura struggled to detain her heartbreak as she choked out the words, unable to look Jane in the eye. "You and I became the best of friends from the time I came to Boston Homicide Unit, we are the only females that work in the Division."

"Oh," Jane's voice dropped, almost disappointed? Maura dared to hope, looking up, she saw Jane frown, but let it go as she noticed her face scrunch in concentration.

_Don't let your hopes get too high, just yet, Maura…_

"So you're a cop, too?" Jane's voice snapped Maura back to reality, her eyes widened at the question.

"Pardon?" Maura puzzled. "Oh! No, no, I am the Medical Examiner, you and I were often teamed together on cases where I would help determine the cause of death."

"Good," Jane responded. "'Cause I think my cop skills would be terrible if I was wrong in my assumptions that you were a cop."

"I don't care for assumptions," Maura smiled. Jane smiled as well.

"I know," Jane giggled, and Maura couldn't help but join in, but was curious as to Jane's words.

"Do you?" Maura asked, delving a bit further once she stopped laughing. Jane's smile faded into a frown.

"I..." her eyebrows furrowed, and her perfect nose scrunched as it usually did when she concentrated on something in particular, her lower lip tucked in under her teeth. _Adorable,_ Maura thought, then shook the impromptu idea from her mind.

"You don't have to answer that, Jane, I'm sorry," Maura apologized, and reached over to take Jane's hand out of instinct. Jane's eyebrows shot up at the contact and then softened, Maura, realizing her mistake, tried to pull away but Jane held on.

"Please don't…" Jane's whisper was louder to Maura than any other noise in the room. "I feel – safer around you…"

"You are always safe around me," Maura promised, again snapping her mouth shut at the realization that she was being far too intimate with Jane than she should be. But Jane smiled at the words.

"I know this sounds strange, but I feel as if the roles are sort of reversed… as if I should be saying that to _you?_" Jane asked, smiling brightly, her dimples appearing, making Maura's heart melt.

"Possibly, but in this particular situation, I think we can make an exception, don't you?" Maura asked, stifling a giggle. Jane watched her intently for a few moments as she struggled, then snorted and giggled again, all the time, Jane focused on her beautiful smile, and the soft scent of her perfume. Jane felt comforted by this woman's presence, at ease.

Although she felt somewhat happy to be surrounded by such kind people and words from the other visitors earlier, they paled in comparison to how Jane felt just by seeing this woman smile, and yet the only thing that truly upset her, was she couldn't understand why, she kept believing she knew, like a thought on the tip of her tongue, but as soon as she tried to voice it, the memory would die off and she would be left looking like a fool. She hated that feeling.

"What is it, Jane?" Maura asked, noticing the other woman's silence. Jane toyed with their twined hands, remaining silent for another moment, Maura did not push her, but could not help the anxiety that flooded through her at the fear she may be doing something wrong.

"I don't know…" Jane's eyes shut, and she tried to hold onto it, the memory, the fleeting feeling of something _important_, she let out a frustrated groan as she found herself incapable of remembering, and what was worse, she didn't even know _what_ it was she was trying to remember…

"This is so crazy, I – I just feel _lost_," Jane lifted her eyes to Maura's, and Maura let out a soft gasp at the tears shining in them. "Were you there? Did you see what happened to me?" Jane asked her, her voice pleading for the truth. "Did I really do all these things that the others told me I have done? Shooting myself for no real reason…?"

"You didn't shoot yourself for no reason, Jane," Maura choked. She felt herself grow angry with the stupidity of the statement, although she could not contemplate what Jane had honestly been thinking at that point, she had no reason to believe that Jane would do something so brash without explanation.

"Can _you_ tell me?" Jane asked, the first tear falling from her eyes. "What happened? Why did I wind up this way? Why can't I remember-? Please... please tell me who I am?" Maura tried to keep up with the mind-numbing questions but in the next moment, Jane was leaning forward, pulling Maura's arm, forcing her to meet her halfway as Jane fell into her arms and began to cry, uncontrollably heart-wrenching sobs that emitted from the broken woman in her arms made Maura feel as though she couldn't breathe with the unbearable pain that flooded through her at her inability to help the woman she loved.

She wanted to hush Jane and tell her everything would be alright, but in her mind, she knew that would be lying, and her throat clenched at the mere thought of trying to lie to Jane, she could not assure her, she could do nothing to promise Jane that she would remember everything soon, that her memories would come back, that she would be there, waiting with open arms, loving Jane again. She couldn't do any of that.

"I am so sorry, Jane," Maura's voice cracked as she spoke these words into Jane's soft, sweet-smelling hair. "I-I'm just… so sorry."

As Jane heard these words, despite their inability to reassure, she felt calmer, her face pressed into this woman's chest, she felt the lull of a steady beating heart, and despite the slight anger that flared within Jane for whatever reason, she could not be angry with Maura for her helplessness, but instead felt _safe_.

This was, almost in a way, _familiar_. And Jane reveled in the sweet smell of Maura's neck, nuzzling it as her sobs eased and somehow felt calm, and placed… comforted by a sense of something warm and real. Jane breathed in, and out, alive, Maura was alive.

"What is your name?" Jane asked, simply, not moving from her place in Maura's arms.

"Maura," Maura sighed. "Maura Isles."

"Maura-" Jane reveled in the way the name rolled sweetly off of her tongue, like a dream. Jane closed her eyes and stayed focused on the warmth of Maura.

"Jane, there's something –" Maura paused at the sound of the door opening. The female attendant, Larissa, Maura remembered, walked in.

"Sorry to interrupt, Dr. Isles, but we need to go ahead and move Jane down the hall for her MRI," Larissa smiled, sweetly, but sadly at having interrupted a moment between the two. Maura blinked and Jane, reluctantly released her hold on Maura and straightened, wincing in the process.

"Alright then," Maura stood to leave.

"Wait," Jane's hand reached for Maura's and she looked at the blonde almost pleadingly. "Please stay?"

"We can't have any guests inside the MRI room, but you're welcome to wait outside," Larissa piped as she pulled a wheelchair up toward Jane's bed. Maura looked from Larissa, who seemed almost too-bubbly at helping the two of them, to Jane, who still waited for Maura's answer.

"I will," Maura responded, watching Jane sag with relief and a smile as Larissa and Maura worked to assist Jane into the wheelchair.

"Thank you, Maura," Jane smiled, not releasing Maura's hand until they were forced apart by the door leading into the MRI. Maura watched Jane until the door separated them and only then did she tumble to the wall, her knees buckling and her eyes filling with tears as uncontrollable sobs began to wrack her body in relief and heartbreak.

* * *

**AN: **Sorry for the short chapter, lovies, but I think there is as good a place as any to end for now, hope you will all review and I'll try and get the next chapter up as soon as possible! Thanks for all your guys' support and love! :)


	3. Familiar Territory

**Title: **_Better Than A Memory_

**Author: **LJBard

**Disclaimer: **Still, not mine, I just play with them for my own enjoyment :) Thanks Tess Gerritsen and TNT!

**Reviews: **Are. Love. FEED THE BARD! :)

**A/N: **You guys have been AMAZING! Thank you so much for all your kind reviews and sweet ideas and words to help me push this story right along bear with me, this may be a long one! ;)

-3-

After weeks of tests and observation, Jane was no closer to really remembering anything other than what someone told her, if the Doctors said that the Earth was being attacked by alien spawn, she just may believe it. Maura was no closer to being ready to deal with any of this either, as she had no choice but to return to work in order to help solve cases that still kept popping up, despite her pain of not being with Jane, life went on and Korsak and Frost were a large help, having to also share the burden of being at work instead of knowing whether Jane would wake up and remember anything.

Not to say that no progress had been made, despite the failure of Jane's inability to recall too many places or names by faces, she was able to remember her birthday, and how old she was, and that she had two brothers, Tommy and Frankie, she began to slightly remember bits and pieces of her childhood after Frankie brought over some old home movies and watched with her, and she recalled the embarrassing time she had been in High school, just received her license and been pulled over, stark naked because of an incident of sitting on a fire ant hill and she'd had to throw her clothes in the trunk, including her wallet which she could not produce for the police officer.

She began to warm up more toward other people who stopped by to visit, even began joking alongside Korsak and Frost as simply as she had done before, she would go silent every now and then only to observe, and then throw in a comment like her old self, that would leave both men slack-jawed and speechless.

But through it all, Maura was the constant. Jane enjoy Maura's visits every day, no, she _more_ than enjoyed them. She couldn't help the attraction or the pull she felt toward the blonde, whose smile seemed to have an effect on Jane to instantly melt, and she had this adorable way of rambling on about things that Jane hardly understood, their meanings and their backgrounds, but it was so cute that Jane didn't bother to stop her; she just loved hearing her speak.

Maura would speak all day, coming to Jane in the evenings, sharing a meal that she would sneak in, that way Jane would not have to eat the cafeteria food, and then talk about her own childhood; about cases they had solved together; about their coworkers and families; about Maura's nasty habit of diagnosing her dates, a fact that Jane found highly amusing when she brought up details, but the blonde was careful to not expose too much; about their pets, Jane was all too thrilled to know that she had a dog.

"She is so _cute_, the little fur ball!" Jane laughed at a picture Maura had on her phone of Jane curled up on Maura's sofa, Joe Friday's chin resting on her knees, staring up at the camera with her ears perked up as if to say 'why are you disturbing our nap?'

"She's certainly a handful," Maura laughed, watching Jane light up and giggle. She began to grow accustomed to their routine, feeling safe, comfortable, Jane would often regard that she loved spending time with Maura, but Maura would deflect the subject as soon as Jane seemed to want to push a bit past personal, despite that she wanted to tell Jane everything, she felt it was unfair to make the brunette automatically assume that she should love Maura just because she had before the incident. Things had changed, _Jane _had changed. Of this much, Maura was certain, she loved Jane more than anything in the world, and despite the changes, she was still the same Jane Rizzoli she had come to know and love, despite their lack of memories together, Maura felt that same bond, the same feelings of security and love that had surrounded her from the time she first laid eyes on Jane.

Which was why now, Maura vowed that she would not push Jane, whether her memories would return or not was still uncertain, if they did, then she would happily begin again with Jane, if they didn't, she would remain in Jane's life until Jane decided what it was that she needed from Maura. It hurt, a _lot_ and it sure as Hell wasn't easy for Maura to keep her distance or try to not reach out to Jane, unsure. Maura hated to be unsure, to feel insecure about herself, she wished she could understand Jane better, know what she was thinking, but despite their growing bond, this Jane was still far too different to tell what was going on inside her head.

No amount of closeness could make Maura feel any less agitated or alone. But she would work through this, if not for her sake than at least for Jane's. That is until the time that Jane came up for discharge from the hospital, Dr. Morris having no further reason to keep her there or observe her.

Maura was at a standstill. The one thing that Maura had failed to mention, despite talking for hours on end with Jane day in and out, was that they now shared a home together, a bedroom, closet space… personal things that would be way too personal for just friends sharing a living quarters.

Maura assisted in the help from Frankie, Frost and Korsak, despite Angela's protests that Jane could come home and "sleep in her bedroom," Maura wanted to still be close to Jane without letting her out of sight, and at the same time, Jane was still needing assistance with moving around a lot due to her injuries, Maura saw it fit that she would take care of Jane easier at their own home, and this was a fact even Angela couldn't deny, despite her stubbornness.

"You sure about this, Maura?" Frankie asked as he finished setting up some sheets on the spare bed in the adjacent room of Maura's home where Jane would be sleeping. "I mean, why don't you just tell her? You know Jane will find out eventually…"

"No she will not, because nobody will say _anything_ to her, right Frost?" Maura eyed the Detective coming into the room carrying a box labeled 'Jane's clothes'.

"Why're you lookin' at me? I know better than to get in between you and Jane's problems," Frost defended.

"I'm not accusing you, Barry, just agree with me," Maura sighed.

"Oh," Barry nodded.

"Not _that_," Frankie argued, hands on his hips. "I _meant_ that you two are in love with one another, eventually that will work itself out and when it does Jane is most likely gonna ask whether she loved you before!"

Maura closed her eyes, avoiding hearing Frankie's honest statement that she knew could be a possibility.

"If, and I do mean _if_ Jane were to ask, then yes, I'd tell her, but for now, there's no guarantee that your sister even still loves me at all… other than a friend," Maura demanded her eyes to stop stinging, she would not cry. Her throat closed at the stark realization that her own words may have a ring of truth to them, that Jane may never love Maura the same way again…

"You're nuts, you and my sister are meant for each other, no brain damage or nothing is gonna stop the two of you from finding that again," Frankie reassured, clasping his hands on each of Maura's arms, smiling confidently.

Maura returned the smile to Frankie, grateful to have him in her life, he was truly a wonderful man, and she knew that it was the spark in him, that Jane now lacked, that was the Rizzoli trait, that spark of fire, the passion, the stubborn will that kept them going, that made them keep fighting until the end, even if they were wrong, that's what Maura missed the most about Jane.

"Thank you," Maura whispered. Frankie squeezed her arms reassuringly and nodded, before releasing her and helping Frost move more items around the closet space.

"Jeez, Doc, you got enough shoes in here?" Korsak kid as he lifted up a satin pump from the pile.

"Ooh! Those are my old Prada's I've been looking everywhere for them!" Maura brightened.

-x-

"Okay, yes, thanks Ma," Jane hung up on her mother before she heard another word from the Italian woman who seemed livid at Jane for not telling her that she was already released from the hospital and in Maura's car, sitting the drive.

"Is she _always_ this cranky?" Jane asked Maura, her left eyebrow arched and Maura momentarily forgot the question.

"Most of the time," Maura shrugged, finally rewinding the phrase and answering. "Here we are, home sweet home."

"It's beautiful," Jane admonished as Maura got out of her side then came around to help Jane get out. Jane groaned in stubborn refusal to let Maura practically cart her to the door in a wheelchair, opting instead to walk with one arm around Maura's shoulders, Maura's arm around her waist for support, and she felt her heart jump to her throat as her body became hyperaware of Maura's touch, leaving tingles along her body where Maura's hand accidentally brushed the skin of her hip when Jane stumbled and Maura's hand slipped through under her t-shirt, grazing her side.

Maura mistook the sharp intake of air from Jane that nearly sounded like a hiss, for pain in her side when it was the farthest thing from it.

"Are you alright?" Maura asked, visibly checking for signs of Jane's stitches and praying they had not already ripped before she could get Jane in the door.

"I'm fine… really," she admitted at Maura's wanton look.

Maura unlocked the door and as soon as they entered the foyer, they were greeted by the sound of rambunctious barking as the fur ball slid on her nails over the hardwood floor to bump into Jane and Maura, wagging her tail excitedly.

"Hey, Joe!" Jane greeted the dog with enthusiasm, careful as she bent down to lift the happy pup into her arms, laughing madly as the dog licked her face. Maura watched with keen desire and fascination at Jane's ease around the dog, amazed at how familiar she acted with the pup, as though she had not forgotten her dog at all.

Maura shook her head, pushing away the dark thoughts that tried to invade her mind at jealous tendencies of Jane not remembering her instead. Maura smiled as she assisted Jane over to the couch where Jane sat and played with the dog who continued to wag her tail, bark happily and lick Jane's face, Jane cooed and giggled, talking to the animal eagerly.

"Do you want anything to drink, Jane?" Maura asked hanging her jacket in the closet with Jane's.

"A beer sounds really good, but I have a very good suspicion that you aren't going to let me get away with that with my meds?" Jane gave her best 'I'm only teasing' grin as Maura narrowed her eyes playfully at Jane, enjoying the light banter that had sparked. It was almost as if nothing had changed.

"You would suspect right, you will not consume alcohol until after you have finished all your pain medications," Maura confirmed, grabbing two glasses from the cabinets.

"Ahh, fine, tea then?" Jane asked.

"What do you prefer? I have chamomile, green tea, herbal spice, oolong -" Maura listed.

"Whatever you are having is just fine," Jane said, continuing to lift the pup up and down in her arms, Joe wagged her tail excitedly. Maura smiled and put on the pot of water to boil before grabbing the green tea, remembering that Jane liked that particular kind once before when they had gone out for Sushi and shared a pot.

"You have a really lovely place," Jane's voice startled Maura as it was a lot closer than before, Maura jumped, almost releasing a yelp before turning around to see Jane having made it over to the kitchen with the assistance of the wall and counters, and was now standing close to Maura, closer than necessary. Maura hesitated, finding herself lost in those swirls of brown, watching Jane's face examine the kitchen then examine Maura, who shuddered under the intensity of her gaze.

"I've been here before?" Jane's question was more of a statement of fact, but still questing for an answer from Maura. Maura nodded.

"Several times," she breathed, trying to regain her bearings. Jane's eyes flashed with recognition, but of what, Maura could not be certain.

"I like this place… it feels like – like home," Jane's lips quirked up into a sad smile, only momentarily, however, until the kettle began to whistle. "You need any help?" she asked.

"No, I got it," Maura handled, focusing on her task of making tea. "Could you grab the sugar and a spoon?" Maura inquired, having forgotten to grab the sugar, knowing Jane would need some for her own tea.

When Maura turned, she then stopped, breathless at the fact that Jane had the sugar in her hand and was now pulling a teaspoon from the drawer closest to the fridge. Jane turned and noticed Maura staring incredulously and paused, wrinkling her nose at Maura, before realizing why she was staring.

"Jane…" Maura breathed. "You knew where they were?" Maura's eyes widened in shock at Jane's achievement, she had not said a word about where anything in the house was. Jane had merely found it on her own. Memory.

"I – I guess I did," Jane sounded just as breathless, almost relieved at the discovery. "I didn't even realize what I was doing-"

"That happens," Maura responded. "We grow accustomed to doing things a certain way, humans are creatures of habit, and when you get into a routine, many do not break from it unless something stops us from doing so, your reflexive memory remembers where I keep the spoon and sugar because you've had to grab them from my cabinet before-" Maura explained, her eyes bright and smile growing broader with every sentence.

"I must have drank tea a lot here, if it's exactly as you say it is," Jane pondered, also smiling. Maura's smile faltered a short bit and she hoped Jane had not noticed. If this sort of thing began to happen regularly, perhaps there _was _still hope for Jane's memory to return.

"Come," Maura broke the trance. "Let's drink this tea, get you your medication and then get you to sleep, you're body needs time to heal and the best time to do so is in a proper sleep pattern."

-x-

Jane took over the conversation for a short bit while they drank their tea, questioning a bit more about herself to Maura and things they had done, not realizing the torment Maura went through as she fought to not lie, but not reveal too much to her companion as Jane struggled to remember more.

She wanted to know more, she felt so _elated_ at Maura's happiness for her in the kitchen earlier, she was excited too, to know that she was beginning to recollect, things were beginning to grow clearer, but where the blonde ME was concerned, a fog still ran over her mind whenever she thought about her beautiful friend turned housemate.

Jane hated the wall that seemed to separate the two of them, Maura claimed over and over again they were as close as can be, that she and Jane had a wonderful friendship before, told Jane all of her secrets and yet Jane still ached to know more, felt as though she was missing something, that despite the laughs and long talks and closeness that they shared, Maura was guarding something from her.

But as to what, she could not figure out as her medications, the tea and the wonderful company began wearing in on her and Maura did not miss the yawn she tried to cover by drinking her last dregs of green tea.

"Bed," Maura called, and before Jane knew it she was being settled into the plush down comforter of a queen sized bed in a room that she quickly discovered wasn't Maura's, but as she sank into the sheets and breathed in the soft scent of lilac, something happened…

"_Go away I'm sleeping," Jane called out as Maura knocked on the door, Maura entered regardless and smiled at Jane who was still very much awake. She then crawled onto the bed, none too subtle at all, and closed the distance where the two women laid side by side, sides brushing despite the amount of space on the bed. Jane's heart pounded in her ears._

"_Are we having a sleepover or is this your way of telling me you're attracted to me?" she remarked jokingly, both women laughed. "So it was Dean you were expecting?" a stab of jealousy shot through Jane, though she wasn't certain as to why._

"_He needed my opinion on another case-" Maura explained calmly. Jane's hopes perked up at the thought of business._

"_What case?" she pondered, hoping her best friend would divulge more._

"_I can't say," Maura apologized with that simple sentence, her eyes looking sadly at Jane who retaliated, half-joking._

"_Fine, go sleep in your own room," she sighed._

"_Jane," Maura smiled._

"Jane? Jane!" Maura heard Jane calling her name out as she laid down, Jane seemed to have slipped right into a deep sleep and Maura had watched her for a few moments before straightening some things out and then preparing to leave when she heard Jane calling her name.

"Huh?" Jane shot up, looking around wildly, and she hissed at the force of the movement against her side. "Shit, oww!"

"Language," Maura snipped, pulling Jane's shirt up to examine her side to ensure the stitches were okay, her fingers brushing lightly over Jane's still lightly bruised ribcage.

"Sorry," Jane sucked in a breath through her teeth and held it as Maura's soft touch made her quiver. _Oh God, you feel good_… Jane blinked. Where had _that _thought come from?

"You need to be more careful, you keep jerking around you're bound to wind up keeping these stitches longer," Maura admonished, letting Jane's shirt fall back down, ignoring her want to travel further North, just another inch and brush against Jane's breast, she swallowed a moan at Jane's erect nipple poking through her shirt.

"Who is Dean?" Jane asked, feeling a bit hurt by the question she asked, she didn't want to know if he had been Maura's lover, but at the same time, she felt… some sort of odd acquaintance with that name.

"Agent Dean?" Maura asked, shocked. "He... he worked a case or two with us – involving Charles Hoyt, a while back… you remember him?" Maura's eyes widened at Jane's question, beginning to wonder just how fast her memories truly were coming back… she dared not get her hopes up.

Jane's eyebrows crinkled together.

"I don't… but – I spoke with you… we laid here, together," Jane said, motioning the bed she was now in. "You and I were talking about some guy named Dean – and some case -"

Maura's eyes flashed with recollection of the case nearly a year or so ago when Hoyt's apprentice had come to Boston to begin killing and then help Hoyt escape prison to enjoy the fun, they had hunted Jane like a pack of wolves and Jane… in a moment of fear and lack of proper rest, had come to Maura's home, and after realizing that Dean was speaking with Maura about a case behind Jane's back, they had laid together and practically talked the entire night, from whether one of them should date the handsome cowboy rogue, to Jane admitting how terrified she truly was, breaking Maura's heart.

They had fallen asleep side by side, and awoke in each other's embrace the next morning. Maura remembered that being the very first night she and Jane had ever "slept" together, literally, and how from that point on, they had had no issues with sharing a bed.

"Am I remembering something, Maura?" Jane asked her eyes childlike and curious as she turned to Maura. Maura nodded, but remained silent, waiting to see if Jane recalled anything else of that night.

"I was jealous," Jane spoke again, softer this time, she reached out and took Maura's hand, Maura gasped at the contact, feeling her pulse spike and Jane, thinking she'd done something wrong, tried to let go, but Maura held fast.

"No..." Maura stated. "It's okay, you... can hold my hand if you need to-"

"I'd like that," Jane smiled, genuinely, her dimples forming, causing Maura's insides to ache, her lips burned to kiss those dimples, as she had done so many times before, she yearned for Jane dearly, but forced herself to accept the reality that Jane didn't know about them.

_You should tell her, she'll figure it out eventually… you two are in love with each other…_ oddly enough, her internal voice sounded a lot like Frankie at that moment and she pushed it away as she realized Jane had said something to her.

"Sorry?" she asked.

"I said I am glad I have you," Jane smiled. "You've been an amazing friend to me since I've woken up, you make me feel like there's nothing wrong-"

"I'm sure your Mother and the others are just as great, Jane," Maura blushed, but Jane deflected the comment.

"I care about them, I know they want to help me remember… but you- _you_ don't make me feel like I am some sort of invalid, or petulant, stupid child…" Jane remarked, seriously. "With you, I feel safe; I feel that it's fine that I don't remember everything, that it's okay to take my time-"

"Well, Jane, they miss you… _I _miss you," Maura breathed the last part a bit softer, however, Jane caught it.

"I understand, but you at least try to get to know me again, you don't sit there and tell me how to be, you just take me in stride, and we re-learn each other together.. ya know?" Jane asked, twining their fingers together and stroking the back of Maura's hand with her thumb. Maura tried to concentrate on her breathing knowing that Jane didn't realize what she was doing to Maura with the simple touch.

"I may miss the old Jane, but you are still her… somewhere in there," Maura sighed. "You are still the same woman I-" Maura paused, Jane blinked. "You're still my best friend, my colleague," Maura's heart broke at the cold terminology of describing herself and Jane's relationship. "You are still _you_, and until you regain all your memory, or not, I will be here, every step of the way."

Jane regarded Maura for a moment, searching her eyes for… _something._ Jane wasn't sure what, but she felt as though Maura was still holding back, somehow, but she was still too tired to deal with it right now, her medications were wearing heavily on her body and her eyes drooped.

"Sleep," Maura whispered, helping Jane lay back down. "I'll be here tomorrow," Maura could not resist the temptation to press a gentle kiss to the crown of Jane's head as the woman stared back at her while she turned down the lamp.

"Maura-" Jane whispered, wanting to ask Maura to stay with her, she felt something inside of her ache at the thought of sleeping alone, but at Maura's hesitant look, she did not request it. "Good night."

"Good night, Jane," Maura smiled, relief filling her at having worried for the moment that she may have crossed a line.

Jane looked as though she wanted to say more, but eventually her body grew too weary to argue and she fell asleep promptly before her phone began to ring.

"What on Earth?" Maura glanced at the clock and headed to the living area where the phone rang eerily, it was after ten pm, who would call at this hour? She picked it up, hoping it wasn't work.

"Hello," Maura responded. Her ear was instantly greeted with the sounds of clanging and cheering and a light bit of Irish pub music playing in the background.

"Cousin! I'm gettin' married!" crackled the old Cajun descent of her favorite, and only cousin, Remy Everett; Maura went still with the familiary tipsy drawl of admission.

* * *

**AN: **Yayyy, Remy is back! :) Like? Love? Hate, let me know in the comment box BELOW! I cant write off of tips, so please be kind and Feed your Bard! :)


	4. Close Calls

**Title: **_Better Than A Memory_

**Author: **LJBard

**Disclaimer: **Not mine! I make nothing off of this except the sheer pleasure of having fun with the characters!

**Reviews: **Yes, please! Feed your Bards!

**A/N: **WOW, is all I can say, you guys are amazing, please keep reviewing! I can't live off of tips so this is the least I could ask for! :) Enjoy!

-4-

"Remy?" Maura smiled, her face nearly cracking into two parts as she replayed Remy's previous statement. "Married? Oh my goodness! That is wonderful! Congratulations are in order!"

"You bet yer purty head they are!" Remy hooted. "She said yes, t'e purtiest broad in all of Nawlin's said YES!"

"That's wonderful news, Remy, I am truly happy for you," she smiled at her cousin's wild enthusiasm and antics. "Who's the lucky girl?"

"Katie Hamilton," Remy answered, bestowing her name like a secret God. "Her Paw an' mine were good friends… she and I dated off and on for years in school."

"Hmm, I believe I remember you mentioning her once when you left home to return to Louisiana-" Maura recalled. "Didn't you stay with them?"

"Yeah, her paw put me up fer a short while and gave me my first real job in a restaurant, he helped me get where I needed ta be!" Remy's smile was evident in his words, he was exuberant and Maura couldn't help the infectious laughter shared as she thought of her wonderful cousin, despite her burdens, she would be happy for him.

"So when is the wedding?" Maura asked, curious.

"October fourteenth," Remy stated, "Ma 'n Paw's anniversary." Maura nodded, but then realized she was on the phone.

"That's nice of you Remy, is she alright with that as well?" Maura asked glancing over at her calendar as he responded. "Wait… Remy, that's next month!"

"I know! Crazy ain't it? But we don't wanna wait a whole 'nother year to get wed!" Remy exclaimed, still beaming.

"Remy, isn't this moving just a _little_ too fast?" Maura rationalized.

"Naw, cuz! When it's right, it's right!" Remy laughed, almost as though confused that his cousin would think such a thing. "Katie and I are mad 'bout each ot'er! Why wait? Heck if it weren' fer me needin' ta convince you 'n Jane ta come along, I would get married tamorrow!"

"Me?" Maura kept her voice level when she wanted to shriek at the possibility of her cousin moving too quickly.

"O' course you! Yeh dummy! I ain't got no family left 'cept you," Maura wanted to add the fact that he also had her mother, his Aunt Margaret, but after their hasty retreat from the Isles' mansion last winter, she knew better than to bring her up at this happy occasion.

"Remy, I don't think we'll be able to make it-" Maura spoke, gently, hoping that Remy would understand. He didn't.

"Whataya mean!" Remy whined. "How coul- no, I just don' get it!" Remy's voice twisted from hurt and confused to upset, border lining hysterical. "You sayin' yeh won't take at least a couple days jus' to be here to celebrate t'e most important day of me life wit' me new bride?"

"Remy, please, you don't understand-" Maura tried to keep her voice low, aware that Jane was still asleep in the other room, and she didn't wish to wake her with this commotion.

"Yer damn right I don't!" Remy near-shouted. "Whataya got goin' on tha's more important than family? Yeh promised me months ago you two would come visit, yeh were supposed to come back in June, it's September now! What do I gotta do to get a small visit from yeh? Make an appointment?"

Remy's lashing out hurt Maura more than she dared to admit. She struggled to remain calm and explain thoroughly.

"Remy, some things have happened… things that have made it difficult to get away at this time-" Maura tried to not cry at her ability to envision her cousin's hurt blue eyes, and his saddened facial structure.

"Like what?" Remy's voice grew small, almost childlike, it tore Maura apart. She asked for Remy to sit and when he promised he was, she began to tell him everything. From the hostage situation, to Jane's shooting, to her memory loss and the aftermath of recovery. Remy listened patiently, giving Maura the opportunity to explain.

"Hell's bells," Remy sighed when Maura finished. They both remained silent, and when Maura was just about ready to call it a night so she could go relax in bed, Remy spoke again. "You both should come to the weddin'."

"Excuse me?" Maura asked, almost shocked by Remy's honest admission.

"Yeh both should come to the weddin!" he spoke again, more eager this time, like he had solved the cure for world hunger.

"Remy – Jane needs to be surrounded by family and familiarity, she needs to feel comfortable -" Maura explained.

"T'ere ain't a more comfortable place than the bayou!" Remy explained nonchalantly. "Maybe t'is is exactly what Jane needs! The two of yeh can use it as a vacation o' sorts, a getaway. Remember yeh would always come here when ya needed to get away from you know who."

Maura remembered, when life began getting rough during the summers she spent home with her parents, she would spend time with Remy, and when she got older, she'd spend even more time in the South when she got vacation, to get away from the hustle and bustle of the city life, the slow pace of Louisiana was only stirred up by a wild night down at the Roadhouse or maybe during a crazed Jazz Fest or Mardi Gras, memories flooded back to Maura and she wondered if maybe Jane would appreciate a chance to get away and go visit New Orleans.

"Maura?" Remy checked to see if his cousin was still on the line.

"I'm here," Maura responded. "I will mention it to Jane, but if she doesn't want to come-"

"Then you will, at the very least, if only jus' for the weddin' cuz, ya owe me _that_ much, neh?" Remy pleaded. Maura sighed.

"I will try," Remy let out a hoop at the admission.

"Tha's a yes if I ever heard one! Alrigh' cuz, just let me know!" he said a hasty goodbye and hung up before Maura could argue. She sighed and hung the receiver up, and headed to her room, she made quick work of her clothes for pajamas and let out a sigh of relief as her body slid between the cool sheets.

Replaying the events of the last few days in her mind, the overwhelming urge of crying took over and Maura's face twisted in pain as she used the pillow beside her to muffle the cries, only crying harder when she caught a whiff of Jane's scent on the pillow, realizing she was clinging to the memory of the woman she loved more than life itself, she cried for her loss, for Jane's loss, for the pain that they both suffered, praying she could wake up in Jane's arms and wish that this had all been some horrible nightmare.

Yes, a nightmare, she closed her eyes, willing the nightmare away, pleading with any God to please give her Jane back, her heart painfully beat beneath her ribcage, her throat tightened and she felt lightheaded from her inability to breathe properly as she cried out at the cold reality that no matter how much she prayed, wished or pleaded, this was real. She was alone, in her bed, unable to hold the woman that could make all of this better. Jane had survived the horror, now Maura had to suffer the outcome that she had still lost her…

-x-

A low growling and then a yap startled Jane into reality. She groaned at the annoying growling that her dog was emitting from her throat, she had been dreaming a wonderful dream, she tried to go back to it…

_Maura on the bed, telling Jane to stay, where were they again? Jane could not recall, as Maura lifted her face to Jane's and close the distance…_ Another bark, and Jane growled herself.

"I'm awake, Joe, Jesus… what do you need?" she asked the dog whose ears perked up, Joe had not been barking at her, but looking at the door. Jane blinked in the dark, trying to let her eyes focus, there was nobody in the doorway, she could make out from the small nightlight in the hall that reflected through the crack in the door.

"You need to go out?" Jane asked the pup who turned her head to Jane and stared, curiously. "C'mon I'll take you out, but then you're gonna let me sleep at least for an extra half hour, got it?" the dog barked as Jane got up and as soon as Jane opened the door, Joe scurried past her.

"Joe!" Jane called out in a whisper. "Get back here, shhh! Joe!" Joe barked and led Jane down the hall, keeping just out of Jane's reach as she scrambled to get the yelping dog before she could wake Maura.

Joe hurried down the hall and into a cracked doorway and Jane stopped herself at the door as she watched Joe bound into the room and then use the armoire at the foot of the four poster bed to leap onto the mattress where Maura lay in a fitful slumber.

"Shit," Jane swore under her breath. She hesitated, waiting to see whether Joe was going to wake Maura and was shocked when the dog curled up behind Maura's knees and rested her head on them. She looked over at Jane and her ears perked up and fell over, as if she were telling Jane that she should join them.

_I wish I could…_ Jane looked over to Maura, whose hair surrounded her face like a golden halo, her arms were clutching to the pillow on the left side of the bed, snuggled closely to it as if she did that on a nightly basis. Jane pondered momentarily what it would be like if she were to be in that pillows place, would Maura automatically curl up to her and hold her as close?

Or would she wake and tell Jane, politely, to go? Or would she merely let Jane take her bed and then go to the spare room, or perhaps, Jane's thoughts brightened, Maura would let her share the bed, but then darkened at Maura wanting a bit more personal space?

Joe Friday began to growl lowly at her, and Jane knew it would only be another moment before the dog would bark, and, despite Maura looking as if she was a heavy sleeper, she knew the noise would wake her.

Jane walked over to the bed, and sighed when Joe's growling ceased, Maura did not move, she remained sleeping steady, her chest rising and falling in tandem with long, slow breaths, her eyes twitched lightly beneath her eyelids and she almost looked peaceful, despite that her eyebrows were creased and her mouth set in a frown. Jane studied her, what was Maura dreaming about? She didn't seem the type to be so restless in sleep.

What could be troubling her so that even the confines of sleep would cause her to be upset?

Jane decided not to ask, as she felt her own body feel tired again, damn those meds were really kicking her ass. She gently lifted the covers and slid beneath them, she struggled for the next few moments to release Maura's grip on the pillow which she needed to use for her head. When she finally got settled without waking Maura, thankfully, she was stunned that Maura began to sidle up closer to her and threw her arm around Jane's waist, her nose finding Jane's neck and breathing in deeply, Jane froze.

Maura's body was soft, pressed up against Jane, she felt as though she were in Heaven, as if Maura was made to be there by her side. Maura's frown ceased and the small sigh of a smile ghosted across her face. Maura nuzzled Jane's hair and continued to dream, Jane felt her heart begin to pound wildly and the rush of her heartbeat in her ears drowned out the lustful thoughts that began making her throb with desire…

_Oh my God, I'm attracted to her…_ Jane realized, feeling so stupid for not figuring it out sooner. _But I am a woman… she's a woman. Can this even happen? Did I feel this way before about her? Does she feel like this when I am around her as well?_ Jane's mind spun with the questions that puzzled her conscious mind, despite the haze of the drugs wanting to make her sleep. _Consequences be damned…_ Jane turned her head and watched Maura sleep, fighting off her own drowsiness for as long as possible as Maura lie curled to her side, a sense of belonging washing over Jane.

_I don't know whether I ever cared for you more than a friend… but I don't ever want to leave this moment… Please just let me stay here forever with you. _And with that thought, Jane finally fell into an easy, peaceful slumber…

-x-

The first thing that Maura thought when she woke up was that one, she had slept better the previous night than she had in nearly two months, and two, she was pretty certain that she had died overnight and gone to Heaven.

Maura reveled in the feel of Jane's arms wrapped securely around her waist, the soft tickle of Jane's hot breath on the back of her neck, the warm scent of lavender and sandalwood and just Jane, filling her nose as she rested, curled up, her back pressed tightly against Jane's front, their legs twined together so Maura was unable to tell where she began and Jane ended.

_Am I dreaming or dead? _Maura breathed in. _Definitely dreaming… how did Jane get in here?_ Maura wondered whether someone _had_ heard her prayers last night and sent Jane to her to aid. But did Jane even realize what she was doing?

By the even, steady rhythm of Jane's chest rising against her back, she could tell that the other woman was still fast asleep; Maura carefully lifted one finger at a time off of Jane's arm before beginning to slide out from under her embrace. At first it grew difficult as Jane moaned lightly and pulled Maura closer unconsciously, not wishing to release the warm body, but eventually Maura managed to wiggle free and immediately felt the loss of the warm body.

She did not want to leave Jane's comforting arms, but she knew that if Jane were to awaken first, she may have to explain things she just wasn't ready for. Maura watched as Jane slowly began to feel the blankets, and then turned forward into Maura's pillow, smelling the plush feather cushion and then pulled it to her chest, smiling almost in victory at having captured her comfort again, and falling back into an easy slumber.

She left when the need to relieve herself became too great and Joe Friday scurried in as she washed her hands.

"Morning, girl, you ready for a walk?" Maura asked with a smile. Joe wagged her tail and let out a low bark, Maura hushed her with a finger to her lips. "We don't want to wake Jane, let's go-"

Maura grabbed her housecoat and phone, not wishing for it to disturb Jane in case someone called, she grabbed Joe's leash and slipped into her slippers, Joe leading the way. Sure enough, not two minutes after Maura began to let Joe sniff around the backyard, did her phone begin to chirp at her.

"Isles," Maura responded, noticing the number from work.

"_Good morning, Doc, we have two DB's outside Boston's Southside Harbor, we need you to come and survey the bodies-_" Detective Frost spoke calmly into the receiver. Maura sighed. Work could not wait, she knew that.

"I can be there in an hour; I have to ensure Jane will be alright-" Maura answered.

"Of course, just get here as soon as you can," Frost responded, understanding. "I'll be here." A subtle click over the line ceased the call and Maura pocketed her phone, waiting for Joe.

"C'mon, girl, time to wake your Mommy up," Maura sighed.

Jane woke at the incessant licking and horrible breath of Joe Friday in her face.

"Ick!" Jane laughed. "Aw, c'mon Joe, cut it out!" she lightly shoved the bundle of joy away as she heard running water in the bathroom; she came to, sat up and realized where she was.

_Crap, Maura…_ Jane had not thought about what Maura would say… when did she wake up? She looked down at where she'd been sleeping and noticed she'd been curled up with Maura's pillow. Had Maura woken up due to Jane being in her bed? Had Jane accidentally kicked Maura out? Or perhaps Maura awoke due to nothing more than her own internal alarm clock.

Jane focused on trying to breathe and calm herself, not jumping to conclusions as the water stopped and the door opened, Maura exited the bathroom dressed into perfection, heels and all, her hair pulled back into a ponytail, but looking more magnificent than Jane was certain could be pulled off by any other woman.

"You're awake, I hope that I didn't wake you with the noise-" Maura said, grabbing her jacket and purse.

"No, Joe Friday's tongue did," Jane grinned. She opened her mouth, wishing to say more, ask Maura about what had made her leave the bed, but she realized that now may not be a good time. "Are you going somewhere?" she asked.

"I have to respond to a crime scene downtown," Maura confirmed. She looked back at Jane and for a brief moment Jane swore she saw desire flash in Maura's eyes as she looked at Jane, hair rumbled, clothes wrinkled from sleep, looking downright sexy in her wife beater and Boston PD sweatpants.

"Oh," Jane said. "Is.. there anything I can do?" Jane asked, already wondering what could have happened.

"No, just stay here and get better," Maura smiled. "I'll be back soon, I don't have much going on at the office, that Rich cannot cover. Would you like for me to bring you any food or something back? Perhaps a movie night?"

"That sounds great!" Jane agreed, smiling. "If you want, I can cook."

"I don't believe that I have many things here to use for culinary reasons, it's been a while since I have been to the store," Maura recalled, remembering that she should check her fridge to make sure that nothing had spoiled.

"I can go to the store-"

"Jane, you should be resting," Maura scolded lightly. Jane frowned.

"I'm not dead, Maura, I can still get up and move around-" Jane fiddled with the blanket covering her legs. Maura felt her heart ache at the sight of Jane's pain.

"I know, I'm sorry Jane, I didn't mean-" Maura sighed and reached over to take Jane's hands in her own. "How about this, I will go out and grab some groceries and you pick whatever movie you'd like to watch off of Netflix, once I get home you can start making dinner and I promise to not intervene." Maura smiled at Jane's eyes that were filled with promise and hope.

"Deal," Jane smiled. Maura beamed and leaned forward, but immediately stopped as Jane's eyes widened at what Maura had attempted to do. Maura had almost tried to kiss Jane. She shook her head, and stood back up, ignoring Jane's piercing gaze.

"I'll see you tonight," Maura said, almost breathlessly. Jane nodded and watched Maura leave. "Oh, and I left some strawberries out for Bass in case he gets hungry, but I shouldn't be gone long." Maura called out over her shoulder.

Jane blinked. _Bass?_ Who on Earth was Bass? She had not yet seen any other dogs running around the home, or even a cat or a tank of fish. Jane ignored the question at the moment and got up, deciding to try and get herself situated as the day began.

-x-

After taking nearly an hour to get bathed without tearing her stitches, Jane settled back into her pajamas, deciding that it would be better to not bother with dirtying up clothes if she wasn't going anywhere. She sat in the living room for a short while and flicked through the multiple channels, trying to decide what she and Maura could watch tonight, she was in the mood for a horror flick, but she was pretty sure that Maura wasn't into scary movies.

She settled on a stupid comedy and a romantic comedy, before she made her way to the kitchen and began digging around, wondering what all Maura had, or better yet, what she could make. She knew that she could cook, she could remember recipes that her mother had gone over with her before and after the incident, Gnocchi came to mind, but she dug around and realized that it was a recipe that took way too long to fix, she wanted to have something simple, yet fun for the both of them to try.

Jane began taking inventory of some of the things already in the kitchen and began ticking them down on a napkin, thinking of good ideas, and one finally clicked. She was about to twist and go to the living room when a large rock that had not been standing in the doorway before, startled her to no end.

"Holy _shit!_" Jane jumped, nearly landing on top of the marble counter, looking down at the rock that had a head poke out and look at her, two large arms that looked almost like fins also poked out as the miniature boulder attempted to move forward. "What the Hell are you?" she began studying the creature that accidentally banged into a few table counters, Jane felt bad that he didn't seem to have much moving space, but he was huge.

Joe Friday then came into the kitchen and began yapping at the turtle, which withdrew back into his shell at the disturbance.

"Joe! Leave him alone!" Jane snapped at the eager pup who pressed her paws against the turtle shell, barking happily. "You must be Bass," she said aloud, looking down at the large pet, she realized that he must be in the kitchen because he was hungry, she looked behind her and remembered the strawberries she saw that Maura had left out for him, she grabbed one and hopped down from the counter, kneeling carefully before the pet that watched her from under his shell.

"Here, I won't hurt you," she said. _Great, I am talking to a giant turtle…_ Jane smiled, thinking about Maura's wild choice in pets, she was about to try and push the strawberry into the hole that Bass had retreated into when the phone rang and startled her.

She set the strawberry down as Joe barked and ran toward the door, mistaking the chime for the doorbell. She peeked around the corner and noticed the phone ringing, again and again, and waited, debating whether she was authorized to pick it up. She decided just then to try and pick it up when the machine picked up, she stared at the machine with pique interest and shock as she heard her own voice come over the speaker.

"_You've reached Rizzoli,_" her own voice spoke, then Maura's continued. "_And Isles..._" Jane's own laugh came over the speaker as Maura continued. "_Please leave a message -_" "_And we'll get back to ya… maybe._" Jane's voice finished before the BEEP came over the line.

_What the Hell?_ Jane wondered, replaying the joint message, once again her mind began spinning in contemplation of just how close she and Maura had once been.

"_Maura?_" Jane stopped thinking, her concentration moving back to the device where a thick Southern accent in the version of a male voice was now speaking into the machine. "_Hey, still waitin' on yer answer as to when you 'n Jane'll be comin' t'is way, can't wait to see ya for the weddin!_"

Jane blinked. Wedding? What wedding? Who was the guy over the phone.

"_Anyway, I am at t'e restaurant, yeh know how to reach me there, call me back, love ya, bye!_" Jane scrambled to pick up the phone and talk to this barely understandable man, but it was too late, he hung up just as Jane had answered.

"_Fuck!_" Jane swore. "Who was that?" And how did he know Jane? And again… _why_ was her voice on Maura's answering machine! Jane groaned as she tried to think about the questions that boggled her conscious, she wished like Hell she could remember. But instead she could only hit her head against the metaphorical wall.

Jane jumped, letting out a yelp at the phone that began ringing once again. She picked it up with haste and answered.

"Hello?" she near-shouted.

"_Jane?_" Maura's voice cut through the other line. "_Is everything okay?_"

"Maura," Jane sighed. "You.. I – never mind… listen, I need you to pick up some cheese filled tortellini from the store, at least two bags."

"_Okay, well I was just calling because I was at the store… I will be home soon-_" Maura stated, still sounding confused. "_Are you sure everything is alright Jane?_" Maura asked, concern lacing her voice. Jane reveled in Maura's warm voice, about how she said she would be _home_ soon, it felt… _right._ She shook her head clear of those thoughts.

"I'm okay, but can you get that?" Jane asked. "We'll talk later over dinner, I have more questions to ask."

"_Yes, I can get that, is there anything else? Would you like something to drink other than water or juice?_" Maura asked.

"Milk? And grab a liter of heavy cream if you can, the one in your fridge is spoiled," Jane wrinkled her nose as she dumped said cream out.

"_Got it, I will be home in a half hour,_" Maura responded.

"Okay," Jane paused as she hesitated saying something more. She hung up instead, wondering what had come over her. She and Maura needed to talk, big time.

* * *

**AN: **Weeeee, yet another fantastic chapter down, several more to come ahead in the future! FEED ME REVIEWS and they shall appear soon! :) Hope you enjoyed! A special shoutout to my friend **Ashound** for being an amazing friend and viewer. and to **jen_0587** for helping me find cuppycakes and reminding me that i am young every day XD LOVE!


	5. Down On The Bayou

**Title: **_Better Than A Memory_

**Author: **LJBard

**Disclaimer: **No credit being taken here, only imagination!

**Reviews: **PLEASE? :)

**A/N:** Yay! That is about as much as I can say, words cannot come easy to me as I try to thank everybody who has reviewed me so far, you guys are SO outstanding! Here's your reward!

-5-

Maura came home to the tangy scent of marinara and the Sound of Music soundtrack playing in her stereo system. Jane was in the kitchen, moving about, stirring a pot of boiling water, adding salt and olive oil.

Maura felt her heart flutter and she was falling, all over again, in love with Jane Rizzoli as she watched the domesticated brunette move around the kitchen with ease, seeming to know where everything was now, and began cooking up a storm, she hummed along to Julie Andrews' voice in the background and had a lovely smile on her face.

She would have stared longer, had a blinking red light not caught her eye. She turned toward the answering machine and saw that she had a message. She looked back at Jane for a moment, wondering whether the other woman had not bothered to pick up the phone out of respect, but yet, Jane had answered her call…

"_Maura,_" Maura's blood ran cold. "_Still waitin' on yer answer on when you 'n Jane are plannin'- BEEP Message Deleted._" Maura deleted the message, having heard enough of her cousins' voice to understand that Jane had most likely listened to the message.

"I didn't know whether I should pick up your phone-" Jane's voice startled Maura. She turned and watched as Jane stood in the doorway, looking slightly upset with Maura. "Of course that wasn't until after I realized my voice was on the machine-"

Maura's eyes widened. She had completely forgotten about her answering machine, how could she have been so stupid? She looked back at Jane, who watched Maura, waiting patiently for an answer.

"I got you the tortellini," Maura choked, handing the grocery bag over to Jane, hoping to drop the subject. Jane could sense Maura's discomfort and she obliged her… for now.

"So whose wedding are we supposed to attend?" Jane asked after a few moments of silence while Maura put her jacket up in the closet and slipped out of her heels, she had knelt down to pet Bass' shell when the question surprised her.

"My cousin, Remy's," Maura answered her. "He called me yesterday evening with the announcement; I didn't expect him to call me back again so quickly for an answer."

"Why didn't you tell him we would go?" Jane asked, now curious more than agitated.

"Because I enjoy making him sweat it out -" Maura half-smiled. She looked down and fidgeted with the bowl of partial debridged strawberries that she kept for Bass on the counter. "He wants me to bring you along; I told him that you were recovering from your wound-"

"But you never asked me if I wanted to go?" Jane stopped Maura from rambling. She closed the distance between them after ensuring the tortellini would not stick to the bottom of the boiling pot and stood before Maura, looking sad.

"I hadn't had the chance-" Maura sighed, continuing to fidget, Jane took her hands and Maura stilled her ministrations. "I-" she breathed, looking up into Jane's eyes.

"You have a chance now," Jane's eyes flashed with hope and want and something that Maura dared only desire.

"It's in New Orleans, Jane, far more South of the border than you've ever travelled… I didn't want to burden you with my family while you are trying to remember-"

"Maura…" Jane stopped her again, squeezing her hands lightly. "Please, just ask me." Maura sighed, noticing the plea in Jane's eyes.

"Would you… like to go to my cousins' wedding?" Maura asked. Jane beamed.

"Absolutely," Jane smiled. She released Maura's hands and wound her arms around her waist, hugging the woman to her closely and laughing as she attempted, poorly, to lift Maura in her arms, and Maura scolded her about her stitches again.

They enjoyed a comfortable silence over dinner as Maura explained to Jane that she had met Remy before, at Maura's father's funeral, but left out the details of Maura's mother, Margaret, other than her being a complete prude to Jane the entire time, and the reason why they left before her father's services were completed.

She explained about how Remy and Maura grew up, and then showed Jane a few pictures of herself and Remy and her family, from the album Jane had given her last Christmas. Maura smiled at the memory of the album and had been careful to not show it to Jane, as it held her personal letter from Jane, along with several new pictures of the two of them as they started their life together.

Maura closed the album and put it away in her travel bag as she wound down for the evening, and prepared to watch movies with Jane, excited to be spending some quality time with her.

-x-

Before Maura or Jane knew, two whole weeks had passed, Jane worked out through her physical therapy sessions and saw the Boston homicide department shrink, which she would always come home angry after a session with the "raving lunatic who thought she was suicidal."

Maura and Jane spent plenty of time together, getting to know one another again, the two of them would go to Angela and Frank's on Sundays for dinner, so Jane would continue to reacquaint herself with the Rizzoli family and as time passed on, Korsak and Frost were becoming more regular around the place as well. Maura smiled, constantly documenting moments with Jane on camera, adding to her collection.

The final Sunday dinner before Maura and Jane's trip, Angela was suddenly aghast at their decision to travel to Louisiana.

"That state is filled with pick pockets and lunatics!" Angela admonished Jane.

"Ma, Boston is no better, think about what I deal… or rather, what I _once_ dealt with before this accident? Stalkers? Killers? Psychopaths?" Jane argued back. "We're only going to be gone a couple days; and it's a wedding for goodness sakes."

"A wedding?" Angela's eyes brightened. "Well, I am certain that the two of you will have _plenty_ of fun, maybe even get some new ideas."

"What're you ravin' about Ma?" Jane asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh for Heaven's sake, Janie, _Maura,_" Angela whispered frantically. Jane's eyebrows shot to her hairline. "When are you finally gonna ask that girl to marry you?"

"Whoa… hold the phone," Jane reared back. "_What_ are you talking about?" Jane asked, incredulous. "Maura and I are just friends!" Angela paused, looking pale. Jane thought for a moment that Angela would be sick or had just seen a ghost.

"Ma?"

"She hasn't told you? Oh Jane, forget… crap, I didn't say a word!" Angela removed herself from the confines of the kitchen, her hand over her mouth. Jane's curiosity piqued with keen interest about her mothers' statement. She was sick of playing games.

"Jane? Oh there you are, are you ready to go? I want to try and get a decent night of rest before we take off tomorrow…" Maura smiled as she entered the kitchen. It faded however at Jane's confused look.

Jane looked up at Maura, and her eyes flashed with hurt.

"Jane?" Maura moved closer, hesitantly. "What is it?"

"Maura," Jane breathed in, becoming intoxicated over the scent of Maura's perfume and the warmth of her skin so near. She swallowed thickly, "I – I'm…"

She reached for Maura and pulled her to her, burying her face in Maura's neck. Maura let out a squeak of surprise and fought back a moan as Jane held her close, their bodies pressed tightly together, Jane's hands leaving electric surges on her skin that pulsated straight down to her lower abdomen.

"Jane, tell me what's bothering you-" Maura breathed, running her fingers through the dark tresses of her former lover.

"I keep hitting a wall…" Jane sighed. "I keep coming so close – to solving something… to _remembering_, and then something comes along and just wipes the slate clean, and I am left back at square one…" her eyes lifted to Maura's, filled with tears. "I just want to remember…"

"You will, Jane," Maura took her face in her hands, holding her gently. "You _will_. You have already come so far in so little time, you're remembering parts of your life, and pieces of the puzzle will fall back into place."

"But not the parts I _need,_ Maura," Jane argued, growing frustrated. "I hate this; I hate _not_ knowing what is right in front of me!" Maura pulled Jane into her, holding her close, wishing to soothe Jane's hurt.

"It will be okay, Jane," Maura breathed. "Believe me, it _will_."

"I want to," Jane's voice cracked as she held onto Maura like her life raft. Wishing beyond all things that Maura would be the key to unlocking her mind, to making her remember, her heart fluttered wildly in her chest at the thought that maybe spending time with Maura in Louisiana would be just the thing she needed.

For now, she would stop trying to remember so much of the past and begin focusing on the future, praying this blonde Goddess in her arms would be in it always.

-x-

There were no words that came to Maura's mind when she tried to describe Louisiana. Beautiful just did not cut it, the eighteen hour drive worked perfectly however, in Maura's favor as they reached the Champ Clark bridge over passing the Mississippi into Louisiana right at the break of sunrise.

She woke Jane, who held a restless Joe in her arms, and Jane, alongside Maura, took in the most breathless sight as a steam engine passed in the background, slowly, its large round paddles that pushed the boat forward leaving a long train of ripples behind, the sky was bright orange, the clouds were streaked gold with the first light of day, turning the water into a pinkish-orange surface. Jane took in the new territory as they passed a large WELCOME TO LOUISIANA sign that had the greeting in both English and French, however it was the bird standing atop the sign, a magnificent stork-like stature with long wingspan and legs, a curved neck tucked inward, its magnificent eyes followed Jane and Maura's car before it spread and then proceeded to flap its wings, taking off and down toward the water, following the boat.

"Did you see that?" Jane asked in childlike wonder.

"_Ardea Herodius,_" Maura smiled. "Great Blue Heron, they are the state bird here, you'll see many," Maura fought the urge to go scientist on the different facts of the bird in front of Jane who still stared out into the distance watching the bird and boat grow smaller as they soon exited the bridge and were back on true highway.

As they fell deeper into the southern parts of the State, Jane began to notice a lot more of the ground disappearing into marsh lands and swamps, great weeping willows replaced large pines and the roads turned off into gravel and dirt.

They had stopped a number of times to allow Joe and Bass to use the bathroom, but as they got closer to New Orleans, Maura explained there would be no real great places for the pets to use until they got to Remy's.

-x-

The bungalow was just as Maura had remembered, a one-story, cramped in tin-roof structure with a wrap around deck, and that led to a small docking area in the back that led out for miles of swampland in the Atchafalaya Bayou where she saw Remy's boat, _Sawyer, _named after Remy's childhood hero Tom Sawyer_,_ was tied to the dock, rocking gently. Trees surrounded the property of all shapes and sizes, Jane noticed the water that was near impossible to see beneath the stretched algae that sat in large clumps among the surface. Barking caught her attention when she noticed it wasn't the typical Joe-type bark she was used to…

Two dogs stood on their hind legs, paws resting on the midsection of the screened in porch, one dark brown lab-chow mix, the other a blue tick hound, were barking at the car pulling up in the drive. Jane's eyes widened at the monstrous animals.

"They're harmless, you don't have to worry about Joe, I promise," Maura read the doubt on Jane's face about letting her pup play with the bigger dogs. The wrap around deck, screened in all the way around, for protection from the mosquitoes, had a front screen door that opened wide.

A well-built man with shaggy brown-blonde hair and a scruffy beard beamed at the vehicle, as the mutts raced past him to greet the visitors.

"How-deeee!" he called, his voice filled with mirth and laughter. Jane studied the man standing up on the porch as she exited the vehicle, holding Joe. He wore worn blue jeans that were stained and frayed from age, large black rain boots and a white long sleeve Henley that he had pushed up to his elbows, both were covered in black grease and a filthy red bandana hung from his pocket.

"Hello, Remy!" Maura smiled, and then began shooing the rambunctious dogs away as they barked and jumped up at her and Jane. Jane almost dropped Joe out of shock.

"Ack!" Jane yelped. "A little help here!"

"Aw, shucks, t'ey ain' not'in but a buncha soft-hearted pups!" Remy called out, cheerfully toward Jane. He then let out a low whistle between his teeth. "J.D.! Clyde! C'mon, get in 'ere!" he whistled a bit louder and the dogs barked, bounding back up toward their owner. Remy got them on the porch and shut the door, they stayed put, but continued to bark and trace along the length of the porch, watching the people interact.

"J.D.?" Jane asked warily as she approached with Maura, having let Joe Friday down once the dogs were back on the porch. Maura released Bass onto the ground and let him poke his head around, smelling the weeds.

"Jack Daniels," Remy offered his most charming crooked grin, taking Jane's bag. "Yeh ain't lookin' too bad t'ere fer a woman who got shot-"

"Remy!" Maura snapped, coming up behind Jane, dragging her own bag which Remy snatched up as soon as she was within reach. Jane noticed the ground beneath their feet was very soft, moist almost, it squelched under her sneakers.

"What?" Remy shrugged, nonchalantly. He then slung his free arm around Maura's shoulders. "Aw, good to see ya, 'chere! I can't wait fer ya to meet Katie!"

"Yes, well it's been a long drive, I'd like to get a bit fresh before you start introductions – she isn't _here _is she?" Maura started, eyeing the bungalow with caution. They had not stopped in at least six hours, not since they passed through Arkansas, where they loaded up on gas, and caffeine, speaking of Jane knew she would need to find a bathroom soon.

"Well that's fine! Ya'll can hop on in the sho'er and scrub up, I already got breakfast on! I hafta run down to Junie's for a few, but ya'll are more 'n welcome to come out and enjoy some good Creole on me!" Remy beamed as he led the women inside.

Jane was immediately aware of the smell of warm spices, bacon and mulled cider that tickled her nose as they found themselves immediately in the spacious kitchen, she was floored by how in this tiny, cramped little home, Remy's kitchen could outdo Maura's own.

The entire countertops were pure marble in the shade of a dark jade, Teflon pots and pans hung above the center island on a wire rack, the steel fridge was large and cluttered with magnets and photographs, all of the cabinets above the stove and around the kitchen were maple wood and had paneled glass frames, knives and utensils and spice racks in every crack and crevice. There was a flat grill on the island but the master stove in the corner was kerosene, the sound of bacon popping and frying in the skillet made Jane's stomach rumble.

"I'm afraid I ain't got but t'e one room, but I set up the spare cot just in case ya'll are funny 'bout sharin' – _oof!_" Remy whined as he tossed Maura and Jane's bags in their room. It was Maura's elbow into his abdomen that stopped him from finishing his sentence as Maura glowered, Jane did not notice however, as she settled herself in and looked around the small, but comfy room. It was, indeed, really small, and cramped, but not so much as to cause claustrophobia.

"Is there a restroom I can use?" Jane asked, really feeling the urge to relieve her bladder.

"Right 'round t'e corner, 'chere," Remy pointed behind him and Jane made a beeline for the door. Maura waited until she was out of earshot before rounding on her cousin.

"Could you _please_ try to not be so…"

"What? Honest?" Remy finished Maura's incomplete sentence with a serious drawl. His eyes grew dim. "Why ya doin' t'is to yerself cuz? Why are yeh doin' it to _her?_"

"Why are _you _butting into something that is none of your business? I brought her here to help relax her from the stress of not being able to remember anything! My entire hope for that will be shattered if you go on and on about things that shouldn't be discussed!" Maura hissed.

"And here I t'ought that medical school made yeh smarter, I was wrong," Remy shook his head.

"Remy," Maura sighed.

"Don' worry 'bout me cuz, I ain't the one who has somet'ing to lose here," Remy walked out. "Breakfas' in ten." He didn't give Maura a chance to explain anymore, there were just some things that he could not understand about his cousin, both logically and illogically. This was definitely illogical.

-x-

After a rambunctious breakfast with Remy making Jane nearly choke on her food numerous times through his jokes that at a few points, Jane had to ask him to repeat himself or have Maura translate since she couldn't hardly understand the Cajun running his mouth.

"I tell ya what, t'ere ain't not'in in this world no funnier than t'e time my cuz here got her arse nearly thrown in jail!" he laughed at Maura's face that quickly paled in horror. Jane snorted.

"Oh my God, no, _Maura?_" Jane piqued interest in the blonde who hid her face behind her hands in shame as she tried to not remember the horrible night. "What'd you _do_? Bore the cop to death with a study on speeding tickets?" Jane laughed, Maura glowered, almost seething at Jane but it was more toward Remy who began to regale… before Maura crushed her four inch heel right into his intermediate cuniform, the center of his foot.

"YEOW!" Remy jumped from his seat. "I'll get ya fer t'at one, 'chere!" he growled, rubbing his injured sock clad foot. It was then that he noticed the time. "Crap, gotta run, Maura ya know how to reach me if yeh need anyt'ing!" he kissed her on the cheek.

"Behave, and don' do not'ing I wouldn't!" he winked at Maura before she threw a spoon at him in anger. His laughter followed him well out of the house until the roar of his big black Chevy took over.

"Wow," Jane laughed. "I don't think I have ever seen you so playful, it's a nice change." Maura blushed.

"I apologize, it's Remy, something about that man just irks me beyond my age and I tend to lose my head at times," Maura explained her face bright with embarrassment.

"Don't apologize," Jane took Maura's hand and Maura stilled her breathing growing short. "I am happy that you brought me here, it means a lot to me that you trust me around your family-" Jane's thumb began its usual ministrations across Maura's knuckles that made her ache to reach out and tangle her hands in Jane's wild hair.

"I _do_ trust you, I figured you and I could both use a vacation, and Remy… well you will see, he definitely knows how to make a woman feel welcomed," Maura smiled shyly at Jane. It was when she did that she noticed Jane shift and then wince.

"Jane, when did you last take your medication?" Maura asked, now curious, she recalled seeing Jane swallow a couple pills when they left Pittsburg and then once more in Jackson.

"Uh-?" Jane offered her best 'beats me?' grin. Maura scowled.

"Jane…"

"They make me _tired_ Maura! I hate never feeling awake or alive all the time? How will I ever learn to remember if I am asleep the rest of my damn life?" Jane whined.

"You're being a child," Maura reached in her purse and popped out two pills from the container and handed them to Jane, who accepted them grudgingly. "You need to rest, the body recuperates itself a lot better when it has sleep, because you're energy can be used more for healing than doing whatever it is you do when you're awake."

"Well if I fall asleep in the middle of the wedding, I hope you are able to explain to Remy because I may be face down in the cake," Jane grinned, swallowing her medicine with the last of her milk.

"Well, I am going to shower, feel free to look around, but if you go outside, please don't go far," Maura warned. "There are many more wildlife out here that are dangerous and the marshlands outside are their habitat, it may look like tall grass but if you step in it, you'll be covered in gunk that smells worse than Remy's underwear drawer."

"I don't want to know how you know what either of them smell like," Jane grinned, cocky. "But I ain't goin' out there in that grass, Ma told me about the snakes…" Jane shuddered. "I hate snakes."

Maura smiled.

"Well behave," she stood and walked past Jane toward the bathroom, Jane cleaned up her dish and set it in the sink to begin washing it when a spark of curiosity overtook her and she began to wander about the house.

The living room, and all other rooms for that matter, were much smaller than the kitchen, the living room itself was more like a den, closed in with wood paneled walls, a door leading out onto the back porch, there were two large plush sofa's sitting against the back walls, spaced far enough for a small doorway that led to a tiny bathroom and a lazy boy chair in the left corner as Jane came in. An upright piano sat on the wall to Jane's right, there was sheet music open on the instrument but the keys had a fine layer of dust settled on them as if it had not been touched for a good while.

Directly across from her sat an old box top TV sat on top of a vintage record player, old speakers on either side, Jane noticed there were no real photos hung up anywhere in this room, but there was a massive painting of a sunset over the river hanging over the small woodstove. Chopped blocks of wood sat on the hearth beneath and as Jane ventured out onto the back porch, she was greeted with the most beautiful sight of the morning river.

The porch itself didn't feel at all like you were outdoors even, there were small tiki like torches that hung from the mantle of the door outside, possibly to help ward off the mosquitoes, a white loveseat swing hung over to the far right of the porch, cushioned with old quilt pillows and a dark knitted throw.

To her immediate left, a blinking neon sign read FREE BEER and a red arrow pointed down to where a black mini-fridge sat, and she opened it sure enough to find a jackpot of assorted beers ranging from Bud Light to Heineken to Shock Top to Icehouse and more. A freezer that sat on the top of the fridge was filled with glass mugs that were well frosted over for drinking beer out of.

A white woven like loveseat with dark green cushions sat flush against the far left wall of the screened in porch, and in front of it was a wide square wooden table that had a well worn old checker pattern on the print of it, several boxes of cards lay scattered over the top and several fold up chairs in the corner near the couch. There was a desk that was used more like an old bookshelf with several paperback novels stuffed into the crevices.

Jane walked back into the house and headed toward the room, having explored enough to where her eyelids had begun to droop, again cursing herself for taking the medicine that made her constantly drowsy or hazy. As she began prodding around in her bag for pajamas, she accidentally realized it was Maura's bag when she pulled out a leather bound album.

Curiosity getting the better of Jane today, she opened the album and took a peak at some of the photographs, her breath stilling at the smiles on the faces of people she knew, of her, and Maura and their friends Korsak and Frost, Frankie and Angela and Frank and even Tommy from a few pictures of Christmas last year.

Jane flipped through, careful to keep her ears open in case she heard Maura's shower turn off, she stopped when she came to a pictures of a funeral where Maura looked devastated, and she remembered Maura telling her that she and Jane attended his funeral months ago. Jane watched as she noticed Maura's demeanor change from hardened to weary in several photos and then flipped ahead to where she smiled at the photo of herself and Maura hugging each other close.

It was snowing in the photo, Remy's truck was right behind them, _it must have been taken at the Isles' mansion_, Jane thought; Maura had her arms around Jane's waist, her eyes soft and her smile wide, she looked tired, but immensely happy. Jane was beaming, smile threatening to split her face in two, eyes bright as snow fell in their hair, she had one arm protectively around Maura's shoulders the other was reaching for the camera which Jane could only guess Remy had been holding.

She flipped the page and paused, her heart beginning to pound as she noticed the intimacy of the photograph. It was the same photo, basically, as the one she'd just seen, but this one instead of looking at the camera, Jane and Maura looked at one another.

Maura had her head lifted, supported by Jane's free hand, she smiled up at Jane as Jane looked down to her, her dark eyes lidded and Maura's bright with desire. Their noses were barely brushing in the photo and reality hit Jane like a metaphorical bag of bricks at the realization that no matter how much she reasoned it, this photo was _definitely _proving to her that she and Maura had been more than just friends at some point.

_Why would Maura hide something like this from me?_ Jane pondered; hurt washing over her senses as she flipped through the album, noticing with each page, the pictures became more in depth with gross detail of her and Maura's true relationship. _Were we still a couple before the accident? Or did we break up and now Maura feels guilty?_

Jane's felt her heart break at one of the last photos taken of her and Maura, before the incident, it was marked as _Summer 2010_. That was the same summer as the accident, Jane thought, so they _were_ still together in this photo, maybe they were still together during the accident?

The photo was taken at the beach, although Jane could not recall where on Earth she and Maura could have gone to, to find such beautiful scenery that was in the background. Maura was lying back in the sand in a bright blue string bikini, her head thrown back in laughter, blonde hair mixing in with the sand and her towel, as she apparently struggled with Jane, who was in a purple and black two piece, her tan skin moist with the ocean water, hair pulled over her shoulder, draping her cold body against Maura's sun-kissed skin, Jane's face was also broken out into pure joy and laughter, as she pressed her smiling lips into Maura's neck.

Jane then struggled to keep a grip on the book as she soared into a flashback…

* * *

**AN:** A special shoutout to all my Twitter gals! you know who you are! :) thanks for being patient and reviewing me! I REALLY am truly glad you love the story. Keep it up!


	6. Memory Lane Rebuttal

**Title: **_Better Than A Memory_

**Author: **LJBard

**Disclaimer: **If they were mine, this would be REALLY happening instead of it just being a fictional piece of my Rizzles-starved imagination!

**Reviews: **I would greatly appreciate any and all comments! Please make sure to leave one if you haven't already!

**A/N: **So I have to be very thankful to the snow storm, giving me no option to leave the home and have fun so I am stuck here writing, but then again, I cannot complain because you guys keep making me want to so badly! Read on, my friends!

-6-

_Jane soaked in the warmth of the sun on her ocean-cooled skin as she exited the waves of the Eastern shore of Rhode Island. Maura had surprised her with the weekend getaway and Jane would not refuse her lover of the joys of escaping the hustle and bustle of Boston._

_They took off as soon as they were released Friday and got to the summer home that Maura's family owned late Friday evening. Today, Saturday, was the day of fun in the sun as she and Maura woke up to a wonderful session of lovemaking with no distractions from their cell phones or their pets with whom they had entrusted to Korsak._

_They enjoyed a hot bath together before cooking breakfast, nearly setting the kitchen on fire twice when Jane got carried away, losing herself in Maura's soft kisses and subtle glances._

_A subtle glance that was now being mirrored behind expensive, ridiculously enlarged sunglasses that were perched on Maura's nose as she watched Jane, who could feel her lovers' eyes on her, despite being unable to see them behind the lenses. She offered a leer and a swagger as she began climbing up the steep hot sand toward Maura._

_Maura giggled,_

"_Don't get too close, Jane I'd hate to have bad tan lines because you decided to ruin my time in the sun." Maura joked. Jane grinned saucily, and leaned over Maura, the sand beneath her feet was beginning to scorch her skin and grow painful._

"_Well if its tan lines you're worried about then maybe you shouldn't be wearing that suit," Jane toppled over onto Maura, knocking her shades off and Maura threw her head back, squealing loudly._

"_JANE!" she laughed. "Stop, you're COLD!" she squirmed beneath her, trying to fight off Jane's slick, cool skin, her sun kissed flesh beginning to have goose bumps rise along her arms, her nipples hardened beneath the soft material of her bikini top as Jane made to untie the knot behind her neck. "Don't you dare!" Maura warned, still giggling._

_Jane kissed her, silencing her effectively and tugging at the knot, but not as hard as Jane knew would be needed to undo it._

"_Jane there are families here!" Maura whined, still squirming._

"_So?" Jane kissed Maura's neck, releasing her hold on the knot to reach in her bag and grab the camera. "Smile, baby, you're breathtaking."_

_Maura laughed at Jane's crazed antics, and she heard the distinct click and shutter sound of the camera, once, twice, and a couple more times as she and Jane wrestled around on the beach, ignoring the passerby's who probably stared at the two women with an air of disapproval but Maura could care less._

_It was times like these that made her fall in love with Jane all over again, and as for Jane, she couldn't get enough of the doctor, her soft, supple curves, her lavish legs that seemed to never end, her sweet skin and the taste of her tongue. Jane felt her heart spike and her libido go wild, she wanted Maura, badly, but despite how hot she thought it would be to make love to the beautiful blonde beneath her, she knew Maura would never allow them to, not in front of a beach filled with spectators and tourists._

"_Mmm, I love you, Jane," Maura smiled as Jane kissed the sensitive point on her neck._

_Jane's heart swooned at the omission of the woman before her. Her sex appeal lowered and suddenly it was all emotion, she felt her heart pound and the steady rush flowed in her ears, drowning out the waves crashing along the shore. She looked up from where her head rested over Maura's chest, reveling in the beating rhythmic beat against her ear; she loved the sound of Maura's heartbeat, it was Jane's favorite sound, like a lullaby. One look was all it took for the world to disappear around Jane and see and hear nothing but Maura, simply Maura._

"_I love you, Maura," Jane's voice cracked with sincerity, and not for the first time, did her mind drift to the ring that she carried almost everywhere with her lately, waiting for the opportune time to give it to Maura. _

_None had made anything special just yet, but Jane glanced over to their beach bag where she knew the little box was hidden with the silver ring encasing a gorgeous moonstone with small diamonds littering the band around it. Ever since her mother had given the ring to her last Christmas, she had thought of how it would look on Maura's finger, it had been in her family for three generations now, and she wanted to keep it in the family, but since she didn't wear jewelry herself, she knew Maura would appreciate it. And then, the idea of Maura wearing it for a whole different reason began to turn Jane's mind toward thinking about their future together…_

-x-

Maura walked into the room to find Jane asleep with her legs over the end of the bed, sideways, still fully clothed and holding… Maura froze. Jane had her album. She did not recall packing the album, had she?

She took the book from Jane's grasp and put it away, hoping to not wake Jane, she would need to rest, this was beginning to grow tiresome, this game of cat and mouse she continued to play with Jane's head and heart. Maura had grown weary and began to even feel confused as to whether she was protecting Jane, or herself?

_Silly thought, what do I need protection from?_ Maura asked herself as she straightened Jane's posture on the bed. Jane curled up and stayed asleep, the medications keeping her out like a light.

_Protection from hurting the way you did when you watched Jane shoot herself, choosing the safety of others before thinking about how you would feel…_ the little voice in her head reasoned. Maura's eyes shot open at the realization that she had not voiced nor allowed herself to mull over since the accident. _If you can call it that…_

"No," Maura whispered, sliding into her pajamas, she looked over at Jane's slumbering form. "Jane loved me, she didn't mean to hurt me, she had no choice-"

_Didn't she?_ Her mind prodded. _What REALLY happened that day? Jane had the situation under control until Bobby grabbed her, he wouldn't have had to shoot her at all if she would have just kept quiet. But those cops… they weren't even going inside to help Frankie or you… they were just watching her dumbfounded…_

"Stop it," Maura muttered.

_She shot herself because she wanted to get Frankie the help that he needed, she played hero without even taking the time to consider your feelings, how you would react, she didn't even care that you were running out the door screaming her name as she pulled the trigger…_

"I said that's _enough!_" her voice rose in anger, her eyes stung with tears. And she covered her mouth as Jane fidgeted on the bed due to _the_ noise, but then began to sleep once more. Tears began to fall free from her eyes and she grabbed onto the mahogany dresser. _Jane loved me… She DID care… _

"Maura…" Jane's breathy sigh drifted to her ears. "Mau – Maura…" Jane began to mumble. Maura walked over to shut the blinds to the window before joining the bed, slowly, lowering her bag back onto the floor. She lifted the covers on her side and crawled in, Jane immediately felt the warmth of Maura's body and curled up beside it, throwing an arm around Maura's waist tightly, successfully pulling the doctor into her, spooning her, Maura sighed, knowing that she should try and find slumber somewhere else, that this was headed into dangerous territory and once she and Jane awoke later, there would be much to talk about, but for now, Jane's embrace and warm breath on her neck, and the smell of her shampoo covered Maura like a blanket of safety and love, and she could care less about the consequences any further.

She would deal with whatever life brought her as it came, starting now…

-x-

Jane was wide awake long before Maura's eyelashes began to flutter open, she lie there, waiting and watching Maura intently, reveling in how marvelous Maura could look even in slumber, peaceful and angelic, serene.

She was flooded with the memories of the discovered album and wondered if Maura had found her with it, unable to remember falling asleep, she knew that she had. But as she watched Maura and thought to the pictures, more memories began swimming through her head, one at a time.

Jane's acceptance into the Police Academy; Jane making Detective and watching her mother cry for all the wrong reasons at her graduation ceremony; Jane's first encounter with Hoyt, painful to remember but she did anyway; Jane and Maura's first case together; getting partnered with Frost and having to deal with his weakness of dead bodies; Jane's former childhood acquaintance, Grant becoming her new Lieutenant; multiple cases that she dealt with; running the Boston marathon with Maura in P.U.K.E. outfits.

She then began turning over toward more recent memories; the fear of nearly losing Maura when a case brought a past love into Maura's life in the form of Garrett Fairfield; meeting Maura's snotty blue blood, white collar mother, Margaret and then later, her father, Richard; speaking with Richard before he passed, and earning his blessing to love his only daughter; her and Maura's first kiss; making love with Maura; losing Maura to the throng of pain she handled when Richard passed and then regaining it in a heated moment of passion in the Isles' family kitchen.

Jane blushed at that memory, and smiled down at Maura, but it turned upside down when she remembered being caught by Margaret, their encounter, their hasty retreat and then a family Christmas with the Rizzoli's where she introduced Maura to her family as her girlfriend for the first time.

Images flashed forward of Jane and Maura's time spent together, learning each others' secrets and fears, exploring their strengths and weaknesses, loving one another, arguing at times, and then remembering what truly mattered; each other. Jane remembered… she remembered everything, whether she wanted to or not, so she waited patiently as Maura's eyelids fluttered and she smiled, unable to resist pressing a soft kiss to them as she waited for Maura to join her in reality.

Maura moaned at the soft contact, a smile crossing her face as she kept her eyes closed and breathed a sigh.

"Feels nice…" she mumbled, sleepily.

"Then wake up and I will kiss you for real," Jane smirked. Maura's eyes did nothing for a moment but Jane noticed her lovers' features harden and then her eyes snapped open wide as saucers.

"Jane…" her voice hitched, fearful. She was awake, and she knew that Jane knew, that she knew they both needed to talk. Jane remembered, the lingering want and desire in her body moved her forward, she closed the distance and did not wait for to protest, however she did squeak indignantly at the first brush of Jane's lips against her own.

Jane pulled back almost as quickly as she had moved in, Maura's eyes had fluttered closed and she pouted her bottom lip so adorably at the loss of contact. Jane hesitated, but then surely, and slowly, moved back in to claim Maura's mouth, moaning into the soft kiss that she quickly turned passionate, reacquainting herself to Maura's sweet, soft touch.

Maura was in Heaven, despite the alarms going off in her head, she could not help but kiss Jane back, feeling as though she had died and gone to Heaven, but eventually as Jane's fingers began to inch closer up her shirt, the alarms blared and Maura broke off from the kiss, staring wildly at Jane.

"Jane?" Maura gasped, breathing raggedly, staring at Jane with wide, deer-in-the-headlight eyes.

"Maura –" Jane's breathing was heavy, her eyes smoldering, dark with desire, Maura felt herself grow wet just by staring into the onyx orbs. "Maura, I remember… _everything,_" Jane's lips turned up in a gentle smile.

"You… you remember?" Maura asked, aghast. She allowed herself to back out of Jane's arms. Jane frowned, this reaction was most unexpected. "What do you remember?" Maura asked, her eyes growing slightly dim as Jane watched her lover slam her walls down.

"Maura-" Jane choked out, her voice raspier than usual with concern. "Baby, what's the matter?"

_Jane… how can you ask me that? You stood there on those streets and knowingly shot yourself! Without any reason or explanation, you were willing to kill yourself for some foolish notion and leave me behind, do you even understand what that would have done to me?_

Maura's eyes filled with tears as she tried to reason with her mind, her heart broke as she shuffled further from Jane's embrace. Jane lie there, hurt and confused as she reached out for Maura only to have Maura jerk away, fearful.

"You... you left -" Maura choked, tears spilling, but she would not let Jane touch her, the result was like a physical blow to Jane's chest. "You just.. left and didn't care that I would hurt, that I would be lost and broken…" Maura hated how selfish she sounded, she tried to stop herself, she really did, knowing that Jane was hurting just as badly now, but that little green monster that she had suppressed for months came rearing its ugly head and boy, did it ever.

"Maura," Jane croaked. "Maura, I love you.. you know that-" Jane's eyes even began to sting with tears, her throat felt as if someone had shoved a fist in it and she had a hard time breathing properly.

"Do you, Jane?" Maura snapped. "Because at this moment," she crawled out of bed and crossed her arms around her chest, in an attempt to hold herself together. "At this moment I don't even think you do…"

"_Maura!_" Jane and her brain echoed in shock.

"You hurt me, Jane," Maura cried. "I didn't know whether you would even _survive_… and your mother, your brother… Korsak… Frost… they all looked to me like _I_ had the answers and I didn't! I didn't know what to tell them! You woke up and I was so ready to forgive you.. just go about like normal because you were okay, you were alive… and I thought… I thought that _that_ was enough."

Jane and Maura were both crying at this point, Maura bordered hysterical.

"Maura-" Jane repeated, it seemed that was all she could say. Her heart was breaking more and more with every cold word that Maura lashed out, but she kept herself upright, knowing that this was necessary, that Maura was in pain and that this was unexpected, but not surprising. Jane watched Maura close up within herself, and it hurt that she knew she could do nothing.

"I don't know what to do, Jane… I thought, maybe when you lost your memories, that I could forgive you, because you had no clue why you did it…" Maura's ragged breathing made her sentences stutter, very unlike the collected doctor Jane was used to. "But you _remember_ and now I have… _no_ sympathy for you or why," the next words that flew from Maura's mouth, neither would forget for the rest of their lives.

"I can't be with you like this, Jane… not if you are so willing to sacrifice yourself without giving me, giving _us_ a second thought." They were cold, heartless, and broke both women. Something had truly snapped inside of Maura when she uttered that sentence, and she immediately wished she could take it back, oh what had she done? She looked at Jane and her eyes were cold, dead to the world, as she watched Maura but was unfocused.

"Jane," it was too late. The damage had been set in and Maura watched as Jane turned her face away from Maura's vision and the tears ceased, her mouth opened and then shut, like a fish out of water, one too many times before her voice finally broke through the surface, but it was almost robotic, and Maura _hated_ herself for being the reason behind it.

"If that is what you wish..." Jane said, and she got out of bed, moving past Maura, careful to not get within arms' reach.

"Jane-"

"Well hey t'ere, sleepyheads!" Remy cut both women off as Jane opened the door and Remy was just about to knock, Maura narrowed her eyes. By the look on her cousins' too-cheerful face, she knew that he had been eavesdropping.

"Remy," Maura grumbled.

"Remy where is the nearest airport?" Jane asked. And Maura's heart stopped altogether, her eyes widening, Remy's own face mirrored her fear.

"Wha-?" he stumbled. "Well t'ere is one in Baton Rouge and anot'er in Shreveport, but t'at's a long haul from here!"

"Can you give me a ride? I need to go home-"

"Jane!" Maura pled, she scurried to the brunette, who stepped out of her reach at the moment she realized that Maura was attempting to throw her arms around her, Maura whiplashed back, knowing that she deserved this treatment but it didn't make it hurt any less.

"Now, let's not be hasty, 'chere," Remy's voice calmed. "T'e weddin' is in tamorrow, I would greatly appreciate it if yeh'd stay, if not fer me cousin, at least fer me."

Jane looked at Maura, unable to meet her eyes, and then looked back to Remy, Maura knew that the Detective wanted to go home, she needed space from Maura, she couldn't be near her, and who could blame her? Maura had been sinful toward her in a moment of heated anger, she had said things she knew would never be able to take back, but she had to try.

"Jane.. please-" Maura's eyes began to water. Remy stood in the door, blocking Jane's exit, giving her no choice but to answer.

"Remy?" came another voice, soft and honey-like, it had a thinner lilt than Remy's own Cajun accent, and as the woman approached, Maura recognized her as Remy's fiancée.

Katie Hamilton had beautiful rich dark brown hair that she always kept up in a trademark ponytail or braid; her eyes were bright green and her skin flawlessly pale, she was donning a lovely white sundress with a pale green leafy pattern, the bow in her hair was also pale green to match, it brought out the color of her eyes, she wore no shoes, and Maura recalled that she always had loved waltzing around barefoot, despite the warning Maura once gave her about all the germs and viruses feet were susceptible to without proper footwear. Maura had first met Katie during a trip to Mardi Gras with Remy; Remy, about twenty at that time, trying to act tough to get Katie's attention and land a date, acted like a lovesick fool; he had climbed up the Ferris wheel and hung from one of the seat ledges in front of Katie's seat to ask her out, it ended with Katie pulling Remy's pants down around his knees and then telling him off for acting so foolishly, he picked her up at her house the next evening for dinner.

"Hey, Mon 'chere!" he wrapped an arm lovingly around his lady and smiled like the sun.

"Mom and Paw are here," Katie told him but then turned a bright white smile over to the guests. "Hi there! You must be Jane!" she shook the detective's hand eagerly. "Maura? Is that you?" Katie wrapped her arms around Maura enthusiastically and giggled. "My word, it's been _too_ long!"

"Hello, Katie," Maura smiled softly into Katie's hair, but her eyes were on Jane, who continued to stare into space that burned a hole into the wall behind Remy's head.

"Well, ain't this just _lovely_? Can you believe your cousin wants me to make him into a gentleman?" Remy guffawed at Katie's bubbly attitude.

"I did't say all t'at now!" he argued, playfully.

"Maybe not, but you just wait," Katie laughed, walking back to Remy and placing a kiss on his lips, Maura looked away, painfully, Jane continued to stare at nothing.

"'Chere, tell yer folk we'll be righ' der," he kissed her temple and she nodded.

"It was lovely meeting you Jane! Great seeing you again, Maura, oh, before I forget, I need to ask you something important, so we'll talk after dinner, 'kay?" she batted her eyelashes in that thickly sweet southern charm of hers and Maura smiled half-heartedly as Katie fluttered away.

"Listen, I don' know what yeh two are goin' t'rough, but I sincerely would love it if yeh could just act somewhat respectful toward Katie 'n me's big day," Remy grew stern, looking from the two of them like children who had just broken a window with a baseball. Maura wished it were only just that.

"I'll stay," Jane said, weakly, her voice still rough with emotion. Maura and Remy both stared. Jane's eyes seemed to focus back onto the cooky Cajun. "For you, because I owe you that much, friend." She patted Remy on the shoulder and then a bark from Joe Friday was a good enough distraction to give Jane the excuse to escape the confines of the room. Remy stared hard at his cousin.

"Don't-" Maura began.

"Don't what?" Remy looked lost. "Don't tell yeh that ya made a mistake? T'at I told yeh this would happen? That Jane didn't deserve a word of what yeh just told her, and _by the way_ jus' WHAT was that?" Remy's voice rose with every syllable. "What were yeh thinkin? T'e woman loves you and yeh treat her like she ain' hurtin!"

"She _hurt_ me, Remy! She willingly shot herself to save someone else!" Maura argued, feeling her anger rise. This was unlike her but her emotions, still raw from hurting Jane, were flaring, how dare Remy think he can just judge her so easily.

"She did her _job!_" Remy shouted back. "She's a _cop_, Maura! And yer the M.E.! And above ALL else I t'ought you would be the one to realize and at the very leas' understand t'is!"

"I did," Maura's voice grew weak and frail, she folded her arms tighter and Remy's heart broke for his cousin, she was hurting. He was angry, sure, but Maura was still family. He came forward and wrapped her in a bear hug, trying to give her strength.

"I don't know what to do, Remy… I-I couldn't stop-" Maura sobbed uncontrollably. "I _wanted _to but I couldn't! It felt as though someone else were yelling the words through me, I just want to take it all back!" She cried into his chest and he rubbed her back soothingly.

"Do you love her?" Remy asked, in a softer tone.

"Yes," Maura did not hesitate, she didn't have to, her heart knew and she knew that Jane was the only one who could own her, she loved Jane with such intensity that it hurt, she loved the way Jane's smile would create dimples in her cheeks, she loved Jane's arms, how safe they would feel wrapped around her, her hands, how they felt caressing her skin, or sitting inside of Maura, filling her more completely than any other ever had. But most of all, beyond the outward appearances, Maura loved Jane's heart the most, her kind, loving, giving, selfless heart.

"Then all will be fine, 'chere," Remy whispered, kissing the crown of Maura's head before releasing his hold and then guiding her out to the living area for supper.

* * *

**AN:** I absolutely love writing Remy, but aside from that, whatever shall happen to Jane and Maura now? Review and find out! ;)


	7. Reconciliations

**Title: **_Better Than A Memory_

**Author: **LJBard

**Disclaimer:** Not mine; never were, never will be!

**Reviews: **I hate to beg, but you guys have already been MORE than awesome, keep up the great support! :)

**A/N: **You all have been amazing, but please don't wring my neck just yet, because good things will come!

-7-

Remy grinned, coyly, as he and Maura entered the living room. Maura noticed Jane sitting in the corner with Joe Friday, playing, J.D. and Clyde noticed this attention and came over to investigate, wagging their tails simultaneously, Kate knelt near them and rubbed J.D.'s belly, the dog rolled over and went limp, peaceful and Jane laughed, but it wasn't a full hearted laughter that Maura loved to hear.

"Remy!" greeted a man in his sixties, he was rather plump and his peppered dark hair was thin and balding at the top from years of wearing cowboy hats, bifocals framed his kind brown eyes as he smiled and shook Remy's hand.

"Shep, always good ta see ya!" Remy smiled, shaking the offered hand. He clapped his other hand on Maura's shoulder. "Maura, t'is is Katie's paw, Shep Hamilton, Shep, this here's me cousin, Maura, she's t'e only kin I got left, other than Jane o'er der."

"Pleasure, young lady," Shep kissed Maura's hand and she smiled at the southern charm this elder gentleman still displayed, he motioned over to a middle-aged woman, also in her sixties, in a spectacular yellow summer dress that complimented her fine graying blonde hair that was pulled back from her face with a few bobby pins, a simple cross rest around her neck and she only adorned her one wedding band as any accessory jewelry, simple and yet, elegant. "This is my wife, Peggy, and you already know Katie of course, our sons Hank and Charlie are s'posed to be meetin' us at Junie's, I promise they'll be on their best behavior tonight."

"I'm sure they're lovely men," Maura offered. Remy snickered.

"Told yeh she wouldn' remember t'em, Shep, it's been round six years now," Remy explained. Maura's eyebrow rose. "Hank 'n Charlie, t'ey were the twin fella's that joined us to Mardi Gras back right after Katrina, Charlie was yer date 'til Hank came round pullin' up a fast one on yeh both by kissin' ya and then the two of 'em began to brawl."

Maura's face burned with embarrassment at the memory. She had been slightly tipsy off of a little _too _much wine that night and she _did_ remember her date. Charlie Hamilton had been the perfect gentleman, handsome and romantic and quite funny, but he was painfully shy around women, Maura had begun feeling ill and after returning from the restroom when she attempted to find Charlie and have him take her home, she found _Hank_ instead.

Hank, unlike his twin brother, was outlandish, spirited, very suave and had all but practically forced himself on Maura before Charlie found them and decked Hank for kissing her when he knew that Maura had been his date. Maura had not been able to hardly tell any difference between the brothers, they were even _dressed_ in the same clothes; although she later found out Hank had done that on purpose to trick Maura into leaving Charlie behind for him.

Incidentally, that was the same night Maura _almost_ got arrested later when she returned to Remy's home and proceeded to empty Remy's alcohol cabinet alongside Katie and another young woman that worked with Remy at the time, Jill? Or something like that.

It had been a terribly uncomfortable hot night, even for mid February, and there wasn't any A/C in Remy's house, other than keeping the windows open, when Maura began to bake, Katie suggested they drive off and make their own damned breeze, Maura agreed, however, when they wound up stealing Remy's truck; Jill was an excellent car thief, and had hotwired it with ease when Katie was unable to find the keys. Jill drove and Maura joined Katie in the back as they sped down highway 15, laughing wildly at the cool wind on their skin, until Katie began to slowly strip down and then tried to undress Maura, insisting it was MUCH cooler.

_"No, Katie! I couldn't!" Maura swatted Katie's hands from trying to loosen her shirt buttons._

_"Aw c'mon, Maura! Live a little!" Katie unsnapped her bra and Jill sped up, Maura went wide-eyed at seeing Katie's chest and her jaw dropped as Katie let out a wild howl. "YEEEEHAW!" They failed to notice, until it was too late, that they had passed right by a cop, whose lights shined brightly on both women standing up in the back of the large pickup, and all three, Katie being the loudest, screamed. Katie fought to cover herself and Maura ducked down behind the cab._

_"Jill, I don't care WHAT law you have to break, don't you even think about pullin over for that cop!" Katie shouted._

_"Honey, if you can't talk yerself outta this one then I dunno what we're gonna do!" Jill laughed, accelerating the truck as the blue and red lights began to flash and sirens wailed after them._

_"We're all gonna go straight to Hell, is what!" Maura argued, snapping Katie's shirt back into place, furious._

_"HA! CHA! CHA!" Katie and Jill wailed loudly._

Maura paused her thoughts on the embarrassing flashback, moving back to the conversation and reality at hand. She looked over to find Jane watching her, but quickly looked away when Maura tried to catch her eye.

"I remember…" Maura sighed.

"Don't worry, Maura, I promise they'll behave if they know what's good for them," Katie promised. Jane held an indignant stare, having heard the conversation, but acting as though she wasn't listening. Maura slumped, earning back Jane's trust was going to take some very hard work, and she only had until the wedding was over to truly capture Jane's attention. Once they were back in Boston, Jane would have every excuse to avoid Maura at work once Jane returned to desk duty.

-x-

Jane longed to be near Maura, she had forgiven Maura before she even stepped out of the bedroom earlier, but somewhere, her guard was still holding her back from bringing up conversation with the blonde, and the other part of her was still reeling from the emotion and turmoil of her memory returning. So while she recovered, she enjoyed watching the blonde mingle with the social aristocrats that were New Orleans finest Cajuns.

Junie's Kitchen was Remy's restaurant that he ran with some of his closest childhood friends, and Katie was the hostess, they planned to start a family and really make it into a family owned and operated place to eat and work between them and their future kids. Named after Remy's late mother, June Carey-Everett, Jane learned from Katie, who spent a few minutes every now and then between being carted around, to keep Jane company, Remy had bought the old vacant building with what little savings he had at the age of sixteen, on his return home from Boston, it had apparently been his childhood home and when his parents died, it was sold to the highest bidder, who did nothing with it but let it sit vacant on the lot until Remy bought it off of him.

Alongside his closest friends, Bart Wilcox and Jamie Dunn, and eventually Katie's fine feminine touches, the four of them built their dream restaurant from the ground up, starting slow at first with little argument over what specific type of meals they should rest on, from seafood to Creole to a just plain soup kitchen, Remy eventually gave up trying to make a menu…

Jane was fascinated with his ideas of "You Imagine It, We Create It." That became Junie's slogan, having known his mother to always be particular about eating whatever she craved at that moment, Remy was the exact same, it didn't matter what the customer saw on the menu, it's what they desired to have that made them _choose_ where to eat. If things were narrowed by selection of what was in front of them, then business would turn south, however, Remy stated that if they had the ingredients, then they would cook whatever the customer desired.

It was ingenious and delicious, as Jane noticed the staff had placed an entire banquet of multiple dishes ranging from Creole to Italian to Greek to many different arranges of desserts, on the main floor and worked diligently to keep them filled as plates and silverware continued to pile up and be used for seconds and thirds of separate choices.

Junie's was a two story brick structure, not very large in square feet, but spacious, around back was a beautiful wooden deck that overlooked the wetlands, several Japanese lanterns and tiki torches helped ward off the mosquitoes and give a soft, romantic glow. Inside, the second floor was almost like a balcony, surrounding the lower floor, and seated up to twenty or more booths and small tables for more intimacy, aided by a fully stocked bar, downstairs was much larger with more room for larger tables and parties. The kitchen was magnificent and designed in much of the same way Remy's was at home, only larger, and equipped with a dishwasher, walk-in cooler and freezer. Other instruments around the kitchen caught Jane's eye including a mixer tub for sauces that Jane could sit in comfortably.

Tonight, the restaurant was closed to the public; a live band played many variety tunes out on the deck, loud enough to be heard throughout the entirety of the restaurant, but not so loud as to make it uncomfortable, indoor participants were relaxing, eating and acquainting with one another. Jane watched as Maura was led around the room, greeting guests with Remy and Katie.

The party was being held in honor of Remy and Katie's rehearsal dinner/reception, as they did not plan to have much of a party after the wedding, since they both had to make their way straight to Shreveport where an airliner would be taking them straight to Rio where they'd be gone for a month, Maura and Jane planned to leave after the festivities as well.

The familiar sound of a spoon clinking against a glass made the room go quiet, the band out back also stilled in respect of the upcoming toast. Jane eyed Maura, who had actually made the noise with her own glass, and Maura caught her eye for a split second, before looking away toward Remy and Katie with a smile.

"Many of you don't know me, but those that do, you know that Remy means the world to me, he is the only family that I really have, and Katie," Maura smiled, and Katie blew her a kiss from her position of being wrapped in Remy's arms. "You are a most welcome addition, I am so proud to know that I will have someone like you, to look after my wonderful cousin and goodness knows, keep him in line." The crowd erupted with a roar of applause and laughter.

"Remy, Katie," Maura beamed. "I wish you both, every happiness that life and love has to offer you. To Remy and Katie!" a chorus of the couples names came out at once and everyone toasted. Remy kissed his bride-to-be with a bright smile, and Jane watched Maura watch them with not envy, but instead, a great sadness. Jane wished she could make it disappear, she looked at Remy and Katie, envying the love they shared, she reached into her back pants pocket and grasped onto the box that she still carried with her, eyeing Maura, wishing to be closer to her.

It wasn't long however, before Jane was being swept up in an unwanted conversation with a young man who had a sly grin and twinkling green eyes, she had seen him earlier, watching her from across the room, leering is more like it, making Jane shudder, his dark hair was a bit shaggy, slicked back with a comb, he bore ridiculously long, uncanny sideburns that made Jane force herself not to crack a smile at him to give him the wrong impression. His clothes were a bit worn, his dark red shirt faded and slightly stained with grease, his leather jacket looked as if it were ready to see its better days in a furnace.

"Good evenin'," his voice was rich with a southern lilt, very soothing. "Care to dance with me, 'chere?"

"No, thank you," Jane answered, not meeting his eyes, but she could see that his smile faltered somewhat, he obviously wasn't used to being turned down, and she smirked internally at her small victory.

"May I ask why not?" he inquired, a hint of indignation in his voice. "I don't see no weddin' ring on your hand, so yer obviously not taken-"

"Well, obviously, your perception is wrong," Jane cut him off at the balls, glowering. "So I suggest you back off."

"What's wrong with just a dance?" he almost whined. Jane rolled her eyes, about to really tell this guy where to go shove it when Katie intercepted.

"Hank, would ya be a dear, and go fetch me some water?" she smiled sweetly to her younger brother. Jane raised an eyebrow puzzled, so _this_ was Hank. She looked around, and sure enough, a few feet away, speaking with Shep, was an almost precisely mirrored version of Hank; his twin brother, Charlie. Both men were in their late twenties, but unlike Hank, Charlie was clean shaven, and wearing much nicer clothes; pressed jeans and a dark green polo shirt, his hair was trimmed neat, shorter around the ears and neck, similar to a military crew cut.

"Why don't you have yer boyfriend _fetch_ ya somethin, Katie? I'm busy-" Hank blew his sister away and leaned in, focusing on Jane once more. But Katie, not one to be ignored at her own party, grabbed him by the ear and twisted, _hard_. Jane winced as she recalled doing that to her own brothers many a time before.

"Listen here, Jane doesn't need the likes of you botherin' her tonight, now quit bein' a creep and go get me something to drink if ya think you could be a gentleman for twenty seconds tonight, it is my rehearsal dinner," Katie growled.

Jane watched, stunned, as Katie's amazing five-foot-four structure seemed to not waiver once as she held her near six-foot brother by the ear, speaking to him as if he were some spoiled child, which Jane could not argue, that was how he acted. She released him and he scowled at her, but bid Jane adieu and walked away.

"Impressive," Jane said, honest. "It took a little more than ear tugging with my brothers." Katie smiled.

"Oh please, honey that was me being _nice_, and he knows it; I can throw a mean right hook, my brothers both know damn well better than to make me mad, what is it you northerners like to say? Big things come in small packages?" Katie winked, Jane laughed.

"Well, you don't need to worry about me ever pissing you off," Jane shrugged. Katie guffawed.

"Ditto. So how are you holdin up? I understand this is the first time you've been to Louisiana? Must be a big culture shock to ya."

"It is," Jane agreed, but smiled at Katie, then turned her attention back toward her object of affections; Maura, who donned a beautiful black cocktail dress with a light sweater to match, and heels that gave the definition of her long, beautiful legs that went on for miles, Jane could not help but stare at her…

She felt her breath catch when she noticed Charlie approach Maura, and Maura being the kind woman she is, greeted him with enthusiasm. Katie noticed her stare.

"Don't worry, Charlie won't chase her," Katie offered. Jane's eyes widened at being so easily read by this woman she had barely known but for a few hours. Katie's green eyes twinkled with laughter. "He's far too tied up with his job to worry about any girlfriends right now. He is a pilot in the Navy, a Lieutenant, he's been overseas the last seven months, he was granted leave to come home for the weddin', for which I am grateful."

"I am, too," Jane nodded. She truly admired the men and women of the U.S. Armed Forces, for all that they did for those of them that could not or would not.

"So Remy told me… or rather I heard about the accident… ya faring well then?" Katie approached, gently. Jane sighed.

"I guess you know that Maura and I are-?" Katie nodded, confirming. Jane lowered her head, trying to smile, but failing miserably at the heartache of it all. "I hurt her… and I hate myself for doing it to her but… I had no other options-"

"She knows," Katie spoke softly, despite the vocal pitch of the room, Jane knew no one else could hear what they were saying, but respected her for keeping it down regardless. "I've known Maura for a good while, and although I haven't spent as much time with her as you or even Remy, I _know_ her well enough to understand that she is hurting, she just handles it in her own way - which is usually shutting herself out from those that caused it."

"I know," Jane nodded. "Last Christmas she lost her dad, and I thought I had lost her, too, right after I had gotten her back… as much as I hate chasing, I would follow Maura to the end of the Earth to make her see how much I -" her voice cracked as she rambled. She sounded ridiculous to herself, what on Earth was she doing talking to Katie like this? This was her rehearsal, the last thing she needed was Jane's drama.

Katie only smiled, however, and placed a hand on Jane's arm, reassuringly.

"Ya know, Remy and I… when I first met him, he was the biggest goofball, well, he still is," they shared a laugh at Remy's wild antics. "But I was terrified of him at first," at Jane's puzzled look she continued. "He brought out feelings in me… that I never knew I could have, he was my best friend, my confidant, and then, suddenly, I can't see myself loving anybody else."

"You got over that fear, then," Jane stated. Katie laughed and shook her head.

"Hardly," she smiled. "He scares me every day; every day I wake up and I worry that I may be dreaming, that maybe he doesn't love me as much as I think he does, that he may go out and find somebody who can love him more than I ever could." Jane nodded, understanding Katie more than she could explain. It sounded like someone else she heard utter her next question.

"How do you get past that?" Jane asked her heart pounding as she looked back across the room at Maura, who was still in conversation with Charlie, laughing over something he said. She felt that twist of guilt and jealousy knot in her stomach and she thought she may just vomit. It was not the first time she believed that Maura could do better than her, that she deserved more from Jane than what she could give. But Maura always proved Jane wrong, every single time her doubts came, Maura would kiss them away, ensuring Jane that she was the only one that could ever make her happy, that she shouldn't doubt their love because Maura was scared, too. It was ridiculous how much Jane cared for Maura, she would tear apart Boston to get to Maura, she'd lay her own life on the line if need be.

"You don't," Katie smiled. "You just go with it, you learn to trust the person you love with everything that you are… y'know, it seems to me that, the _best _relationships; the ones that last, are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship, you know one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before… like a switch has been flicked somewhere and suddenly the person who was just a friend is… suddenly the only person you can imagine yourself with."

Maura's eyes met Jane's across the room, despite having been carted around; smiling and laughing, putting up a front for Remy's sake and listening to Charlie go on about his tour in Bahrain, she had been happy, for the most part, to catch up with so many familiar faces. But her heart still yearned to make things right with Jane, she felt Jane's gaze penetrating the back of her skull all night, she had been careful to not turn her head the wrong way or accidentally move too close to the side of the room Jane was on, knowing she needed space, she would provide that.

But something about Jane now, the wanton look in her dark eyes, the need and desire that filled her iridescent brown orbs, made Maura's heart pound wildly against her ribcage, her stomach filled with the imaginary butterflies and she felt dizzy with an overflow of love that she held for the Detective.

She didn't know what had changed, the lighting of the room perhaps? Because suddenly everything grew dim and more quiet, and all she could see, or hear, was Jane. She watched as Katie gave Jane a light shove in her direction, Jane hesitated and Maura could see a slight hint of fear lingering in her eyes, but she moved forward after a moment, regardless.

Before Maura knew it, Jane was standing before her, anxious, she could see the light shake in Jane's hands that trembled like her voice as she cleared her throat.

"Sorry?" Charlie turned, confused. Maura had not even noticed she was still in conversation with him. His green eyes regarded Jane and then turned to Maura.

"Maura?" Jane did not acknowledge Charlie. "Will you dance? With me?" her voice stumbled over the sentences as she struggled to maintain composure. Maura felt the wind leave her lungs and she inhaled deeply through her nose, she nodded, stopping herself from causing whiplash at her eagerness.

"Excuse me, Charlie," Maura handed her glass to him, he accepted it without question and nodded, knowing his cue to exit, and Jane held her hand out for Maura.

Maura took it, unsure now of which one was trembling as Jane led her past the throng of people to the back of the restaurant where the band had begun to slow the two steps and line dances down to slower, softer melodies for the elder couples and of course, the future bride and groom to enjoy.

Jane led Maura onto the floor with as much grace as she could muster, Maura moved flawlessly, as she twirled inward right into Jane's arms, Jane held one hand, and wrapped the other tightly around Maura's waist, pressing them together tightly as Jane began to lead.

She stumbled once or twice, recognizing the slow jazzy tune of Ella Fitzgerald that was being played from the saxophones, the melody carried Jane and Maura onto the floor where they began swaying too and soon, all either woman coult concentrate on was the feel of each others body against their own, Jane noticed the way Maura's hair fell over her shoulders and how it shone in the flickering lights, the way her green eyes sparkled and then darkened with desire from every twist, turn and dip that Jane pulled off, surprising Maura.

"I thought you couldn't dance," Maura's voice was husky with arousal as she twirled back into Jane's arms, feeling her breasts press against her own.

"The great Maura Isles is guessing at something? Quick alert the press!" Jane mimicked, teasingly. Maura giggled, and pressed her nose into Jane's neck, feeling Jane's pulse spike. Jane nuzzled into her hair.

"No, I am remembering that time you told me that you couldn't dance... at the office ball, remember?" Maura asked, testing her theory of Jane's memory.

Jane's face contorted from lusting to thoughtful as she remembered the charity ball that the homicide unit had put on and Jane had attended, sourly, out of respect for the fundraiser, but had sat out of all the dances of the night, watching Maura grudgingly, dance with almost every man in the room, she had seethed for nearly two hours before she finally could tolerate no more and left.

"_Jane? Where are you going? Dinner hasn't even started -" Maura asked, looking hurt to see her friend making a beeline for the exit. Maura looked magnificent in her emerald evening gown, her hair was pulled back into a bun, loose tendrils of blonde curls framed her face, her hazel eyes bright and face flushed from the exertion of dancing._

"_I am just not feeling in the "party mood" tonight, Maura," Jane complained. "Don't let me spoil your fun, go… enjoy yourself."_

_Maura looked from her date... Bradley? Benjamin? Oh, who cared? ... To Jane, and back, frowning._

"_Excuse us," Maura took Jane's arm and Jane groaned as she was led away from her date._

"_Maura, please… I just want to go home, I'm sorry I am not much for these ritzy dances-"_

"_Well maybe if you actually got up and danced with a man instead of practically tearing their heads off for asking, you may actually have fun," Maura accused, hand on her hip._

"_The last thing I want to do is have some guy who has been drinking the spiked punch, get grabby with me on the floor so I can hear all about it for the next two weeks from the guys – forget that, Maura, I'm going home," Jane turned but Maura stopped her with a hand on her arm._

"_Don't go, Jane," Maura looked down and removed her hand at Jane's inquiring look. "You can dance with me... that is.. if you'd like? - I don't mind-" Maura blushed, and Jane stared at her for a moment, regarding her best friend, slack jawed. _

"_Maura…" Jane knew that Maura had no idea just how much she wished to take her up on that offer, to hold the blonde in her arms and spin her around the dance floor, would be like Heaven for Jane, but she wanted more than that from the blonde that she knew couldn't be offered. "I don't dance."_

"_What? Jane don't be foolish, everybody can dance," Maura said, frowning, her head tilted in that adorable way whenever she tried to find an analytical solution to a problem or question._

"_Yeah? Well, __I. Don't. Dance," Jane chewed each syllable, feeling slightly embarrassed and upset with Maura for filling her head with the notion of the two of them dancing together. "Good night, Maura." She fled, ignoring Maura calling after her._

"I never said I _couldn't _dance, just that I _didn't_," Jane smirked. Maura guffawed.

"Oh, well that is just preposterous," Maura grinned. "Why didn't you stay that night then? If you _could_ dance?" she tilted her head again and Jane was suddenly thrown under the bus. Jane continued to sway with ease, Maura spun out and around to the beginning lyrics of the new song.

"_I never saw that look in your eyes_

_And I never had you hold me that tight_

_And I never saw you dance with your_

_Feet off the ground_

_Oh, but I see it now…_"

Maura could not place the tune, but she and Jane both listened and Maura brought herself closer to Jane, resting her cheek on Jane's shoulder, swaying along with a gentle smile on her lips.

"I was jealous of those other men in the room," Jane stated. Maura looked up, a hint of confusion on her face. "You were beautiful, just like tonight, an angel on the dance floor, and I felt jealous because I wasn't the one holding you close, making you laugh, or whispering in your ear." Jane's face darkened with the familiar stab of jealousy, she shoved it away at Maura's soft touch, Maura pressed a lingering kiss to Jane's chin.

"I'm sorry, Maura," Jane's apology brought more confusion to Maura who had begun floating away on a cloud.

"Jane?" she asked, looking up to see Jane's eyes clouded with fear, hurt, and loss.

"I'm sorry," her voice shook. They continued to dance, flawlessly. "I hurt you and I know that I cannot make you understand why I did what I did but… if you could only know – _just_ how much you mean to me, I swear Maura… I love you and I will never hurt you willingly, _ever_ again."

Maura's eyes filled with tears at Jane's obvious struggle. Jane's throat felt as though it were lodged and her stomach churned more uneasy than ever as she and Maura's dancing stilled and they stood together on the dance floor, unaware of the other bodies and couples around them.

* * *

**AN:** I do not own the song, it belongs to Tracy Lawrence, and as for the little piece of love advice from Katie? that also belongs to someone else, Gillian Anderson whose voice saying this quote over an R&I video that can be found on Youtube .com/watch?v=DlElAh2_7NA Gippelsgirl's account inspired me to add it into my story somewhere! i hope you enjoyed, please be kind and take a moment to review!


	8. Moonlight Ride

**Title: **_Better Than A Memory_

**Author: **LJBard

**Disclaimer:** Not mine; never were, never will be!

**Reviews: **Pretty please with a cherry on top? :)

**A/N: **HOLY CRAP! I cannot BELIEVE you all have reached my goal of MORE THAN 100 REVIEWS BEFORE CHAPTER 8! this is like some after christmas miracle! :) thanks so much! Here is you're reward, you are all beyond AWESOME!

-8-

"Jane," Maura whispered, breathlessly.

"I love you, Maura," Jane leaned forward, pressing her forehead to Maura's, their eyes closed simultaneously. "I love you," she breathed again, nuzzling her nose against Maura's. Maura whimpered, feeling the heat of Jane's breath on her lips, she could almost taste the spices of the different foods that Jane had tried earlier that evening.

"Kiss me, Jane," Maura pled. Jane opened her eyes at the request and watched Maura, who waited, but after a moment, opened her eyes as well, and Jane searched, making certain that this was real, that Maura wanted her still, even after all she had done.

"Maura-"

"Jane," Maura silenced her. "I was wrong." She released Jane's hands and wrapped her arms around Jane's neck, breathing in the scent of her lover as she pressed her face into Jane's collar. "I used my own insecurities to push you away… just like I had with my father's funeral, I hurt you, again and it is I that needs to apologize to _you_… you have never done anything wrong, especially not to warrant my behavior from earlier."

Jane listened as Maura poured her heart out, knowing the doctor had to get this off of her chest.

"Maura, I -" Jane paused as the music was interrupted and Remy's voice came over the speaker.

"'Scuse moa," Remy began. "I would jus' like to go ahead and welcome everyone inside for a final toast before t'e boys shut 'er down!"

The scrapes of the chairs against the wooden deck and mutterings of people moving indoors caused Maura and Jane to leave their embrace as the crowd tried to pack themselves inside.

Once they were inside, Remy and Katie gathered onto the stairs and waited until they got the signal from Bart that everyone was accounted for. Jane and Maura were last to enter the door before they shut it behind them, Maura had taken Jane's hand and Jane did not let her release it as they stood close together due to the proximity of the bodies surrounding them.

"Evenin' everyone!" Remy began. "I would jus' like to say a big thanks to all those t'at helped out tonight, Bart, Jamie, our crew 'ere at t'e restaurant, family, friends, Heck even jus' the passerby's that managed to sneak into t'is joint for t'e good food!"

A chorus of chuckles and laughter filled the room softly, Katie kissed Remy's cheek and Jane smiled at their obvious love for one another as Remy smiled, his face turning a little red at the affection. Jane glanced at Maura through her peripheral vision and noticed Maura smiling at her cousin.

Jane, not willing to resist temptation, leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of Maura's mouth. Maura stiffened at first, with a soft gasp, but Jane kept her lips there, and her lidded eyes watched as Maura's closed from the contact, her lips parted gently to take in air and then Jane pulled away slowly, watching Maura.

If there was one thing that Jane had learned, it was that life was way too short, especially in her profession, to keep putting off how she felt for Maura, her mind made up, she knew she could not keep hesitating with the doctor, next time, if there was and could be, she may not get the chances to say or show Maura just how much she loved her.

Maura nearly swooned at the metaphorical butterflies that flittered about in her chest and stomach at the brief touch of Jane's kiss. She turned her head, somewhere in her mind registered that Remy and Katie were still speaking to the crowd, but she could no longer hear them clearly as she locked eyes with Jane and melted under her lingering gaze.

Jane's desire was clearly evident in her dark eyes, the world around them disappeared and Maura could focus on nothing but the woman she loved more than anything.

_I love you,_ Maura thought, silently and Jane could sense it. She saw her hazel eyes brighten to a clear shade of emerald green, beautiful. Maura noticed their faces inching closer, her nose had just brushed Jane's when a roaring applause made them both jump.

Remy had Katie locked in a kiss that made Victor Jorgensen's photo of the WWII Sailor look amateur. Hoots and hollers and applause were in order and Jane cracked a half smile to Maura, who looked both apologetic and slightly agitated from the interruption. Jane joined in with the applause as Remy and Katie came up for air and then waved, bidding everyone good night with the goofiest of grins on their faces.

-x-

The ride back to the house was silent, Maura rode in the middle between Remy and Jane in his old pickup, she kept a tight hold on Jane's hand the entire way, this made Remy smile knowingly at his cousin, but Maura chose to ignore him as Johnny Cash and Waylon Jennings kept him occupied on the drive back.

When they pulled into the bungalow, he shut off the lights and Jane exited the truck, hearing the barking of the dogs from inside. She looked up and gasped at the amount of stars she could see, it was pitch black outside, and the moon was only half-full so when Maura stepped out of the truck, it was only the soft glow of the moon in her bright eyes that Jane could see, but it was enough to make out her smile. Maura took Jane's hand, shutting the heavy truck door behind her, in tandem with Remy's.

"You two gonna come in?" Remy called over his shoulder after realizing they were not right behind him as he turned on the porch light.

"In a few," Maura called back. Jane's eyebrows wrinkled in confusion and Maura turned toward Jane with a winning smile, tugging her hand. "I want to show you something."

Jane followed, obediently, trusting Maura as she led her onto the front porch, and around the back end, she wasn't usually one for surprises but patiently waited as Maura reached under a cabinet on the side of the house, grabbed a lantern, a couple thick blankets, and an unmarked spray can.

"Stand with your arms spread," Maura directed, holding the can up, pointing at Jane.

"Maura, I don't-"

"Trust me, you don't want to catch Malaria, the mosquitoes and ticks around here are horrid, and laced with disease," Maura argued. Jane bid Maura's request and closed her eyes, trying to hold her breath as Maura sprayed her clothes with the insect repellant, but when she couldn't hold her breath due to the pain in her side, she was shocked that she did not smell anything, she could feel a light tingle in her nose where she inhaled the spray but there was no real odor.

"Did you spray me at all?" Jane asked, sniffling. Her nose twitched.

"Yes," Maura answered, spraying her legs. "This is one of Remy's concoctions, it works wonderfully on keeping mosquitoes away, and it hardly smells at all, he uses it on the screens of the porch to keep the mosquitoes from trying to nest inside."

"Genius must run in your family genes, first his restaurant menu, or lack thereof, and now I find he makes bug spray, is there anything he cannot do?" Jane teased, Maura smirked.

"First, we don't share the same genes, so no, he is not a genius. Second, he was always terrible at basic fractions and numerical equations," Maura chided, at Jane's puzzled look she simply stated, "General mathematics." Jane chuckled.

"Me, too," Jane laughed and Maura then handed her the blankets and took the lantern, turning it on, she pocketed the can of repellant and then took Jane's hand, leading her off of the back porch onto the dock. Jane stopped as Maura used Jane's hand to steady herself into the old rickety wooden boat that was tied off to the dock.

It was a simple canoe boat with white paint, _SAWYER_ was written along the left bow in swervy cursive letters, there were two notches on either side of the boat to hold boat oars and the floor of the boat was mostly flat and lined with a rough carpet, the stern held a higher step level for the person directing the oars to sit on comfortably. Jane hesitated as Maura took the blankets from Jane and put them down on the floor of the boat then offered her hand.

"Won't Remy get mad at us for using this without asking?" Jane paused, hesitating. She didn't want to say the real reason she wouldn't step in.

"Of course not, I know these waters much like you know the streets of Boston, he trusts that I wont damage the boat, I use it almost everytime I come out here, it's lovely to watch the sunrise on the water," Maura smiled, still waiting for Jane to take her hand.

"I don't like boats-" Jane mumbled, too low for Maura to hear.

"What?" Maura asked, her nose scrunching in confusion.

"I said I don't like boats," Jane repeated, louder, voicing her fear.

It wasn't that she didn't _like _them, but the memory of her father taking her and her brothers fishing in the Boston harbor when she was ten resurfaced, Jane had already been hesitant to go, having a fear of falling into the water and drowning, it was winter, and Tommy had begun getting rowdy and roughhoused with her and when he accidentally shoved her too hard, she had fallen over into the icy depths, sinking immediately from the weight of her layered clothes since she had not been wearing a life vest(they were not mandatory in those years), the freezing water stole the air from her lungs and as she tried to kick herself back to the surface, her foot caught in a bed of seaweed or some old crabbing trap and she could no longer see what was around her to get herself loose, had Frank not had an underwater flashlight, he would have never found her in the black depths in time, she suffered mild hypothermia and shock from the tragedy, but made a speedy recovery.

Since that time, Jane had an unusual fear of going out into boats, even in rivers or manmade lakes, despite knowing how to swim now.

"Jane, trust me," Maura's statement came out as more of an uncertain question and Jane saw the loyalty in Maura's eyes. She took her hand, hesitantly and had to kneel onto the deck before lowering one foot into the boat, then the other, Maura steadied her with both arms as she finally climbed in and Jane whimpered at the slight rocking of the boat beneath her feet, she held onto Maura tightly, afraid she may fall over, until she managed to relax when the boat stopped moving so much and Maura helped her to sit down.

Maura untied the rope from the dock and brought it in, and produced two oars from the side latch on the boat and began to slowly and professionally paddle along the right side, pushing them out from the dock and into deeper waters, Jane had both hands on either side of her, as the boat waded out into the bayou.

She forced her heart rate to decrease as she watched Maura's elegant, natural movements of the oars, looking at ease, she concentrated on the water, and where they were headed, Jane let out an indignant squeak of protest when they accidentally scraped alongside one of the many broken tree stumps that barely stuck out from the water.

"Sorry," Maura apologized, unable to help the impish grin that crossed her face when Jane's eyes wildly searched the side of the boat that got hit, as if expecting a hole to appear and start flooding them out of the boat.

"It will take more than a stump to sink this boat," Maura assured. Jane looked at Maura beseechingly, eyebrow raised. "She's in great shape, Jane, for a boat that was built from hand in the eighties." Jane's eyes widened.

"This boat is that old?" Jane asked, astonished, the fresh coat of paint and the softly sanded edges of the wooden structure made Jane hardly believe that fact. Maura nodded.

"This was my Uncle Jack's boat," Maura explained. "It's what he did for a living, before he died." Jane listened, intently, hoping that Maura would share more of the story. Maura's eyes reminisced with a slight pang of hurt that Jane watched float away as quickly as it had come.

"My Aunt June was my mother's younger sister, they were not very close, as both had very _very_ different views on what was important in life…" Maura began. Jane nodded, remembering Margaret speak ill of her sister in front of Remy, sending the young man into a tirade, the woman truly was a living nightmare, she could never picture Maura growing up to be as beautiful and wonderful as she was with a mother like her, she was silently thankful that Maura was not blood related to her.

"June was a loving woman, she was eccentric, and loud and fun, much like Remy," Maura smiled, lovingly. "She was the sort of person that would give you her last dollar if you truly needed it, no questions asked, she loved everyone and everything, not a mean bone in her body, she met my Uncle Jack when he was in the Marine Corps."

Jane smiled, picturing what kind of woman June had been, and then snorted at the thought of a hippie wearing tye-dye, all about peace and burning bra's and equal rights between women and men and then her falling for a hard-assed Marine that stood for everything she was against. Maura smiled at Jane, knowing that she was trying to mentally picture the odd couple.

"They were polar opposites, Jack and June," Maura said, kindly. "Jack was a troubled kid from Shreveport, grew up the son of a shrimp-farmer, I don't believe his Mom was around that much, though I cannot remember if she'd passed, but that's beside the point, he made it a point to ditch his small hometown as soon as he could, and the Marines helped him do just that."

"I know where he was coming from, when I was younger, I got that same rush, I couldn't wait to graduate and get away from home - away from my mother and her wild antics about setting me up with a 'nice young man' and having a family before I turned twenty-one," Jane rolled her eyes and she and Maura shared a knowing smile.

"Well, Jack wound up serving on a detail up in the North, and that's when he first met my Aunt June, she was sixteen and she and my mother had been on their way to the movies, he came to their rescue when some local punks cornered them outside of a bar and tried to take advantage of them, June was grateful, but of course my mother was only furious that Jack seemed to end violence _with_ violence," Maura shrugged, Jane gave Maura another eye roll and a shrug.

"From that point on, Jack would find reasons to be near my Aunt, and June would skip lessons to spend time with Jack when he wasn't pulling duty," Maura smiled. "But, as with all good things, there is always trouble to follow when you grow up in the environment like I did..." Jane raised an eyebrow in speculation.

"My mother grew suspicious of June's whereabouts, and eventually followed her around and caught them both, and of course my grandparents were no exception, the last thing they wanted was for their baby to be involved with a filthy jarhead," Maura frowned at the despicable words that Jane knew had to be the terminology used by them, not her. "So naturally, my grandparents forbade June leaving the home to see Jack, and my grandfather warned Jack to not go near June, even going as far to contact his chain of command about their Marine being involved in a heinous relationship with their daughter who was still technically a minor."

"Some family," Jane muttered, but quieted at Maura's indignant look.

"Well, their plan nearly succeeded; Jack was drafted over to Vietnam, and June's heart broke when she received only two letters before they stopped altogether, she thought he'd been killed but then he came home a year later and crossed paths with her again, angry at first thinking that she'd never wrote back, therefore must have stopped loving him, the two found out the truth that my mother had found one of Jack's letters and then helped my grandmother to hide them from June, ceasing their contact."

"Why would they do such a thing?" Jane asked, outraged. She had disliked Margaret before but now she truly hated her. Maura smiled, sadly.

"All parents want is to ensure their children are happy, but when you come from a world like my parents and grandparents, your own version of happiness is twisted into thinking that riches and expenses are the only cause of that…" Maura responded, and only then did Jane noticed she was no longer paddling, but instead the oars sat in the water, resting, and Maura had her elbows on her knees, sitting Indian style across from Jane, she rested her chin in her hands, pensive.

"Well, it didn't work in their favor, my Uncle was honorably discharged from the Corps not two months or so after his return, and June disowned and ran off from my grandparents, they were married right here in New Orleans as soon as they arrived, Jack had inherited his grandfather's old house, that is now known as Junie's Kitchen, and began a life of supporting June and then later on, Remy, by building boats similar to these," Maura motioned toward the boat. "He was an excellent carpenter and woodsman, he would often take up any freelance jobs around the town, he even single-handedly rebuilt the church on Main Street."

"Quite the culture shock to June, no doubt," Jane tried to imagine June leaving home at such a young age, going from being sheltered and having it all taken care of financially, to living in the bayou with a man she'd hardly known, who had not two nickels to rub together. Maura sensed the mood shift and reached over to take Jane's hand. Jane's heart increased in speed at the soft electricity that sparked between them when Maura touched her.

"She always told Remy, and me, that she didn't need money, she had everything she needed in Jack," Maura admitted. "They hardly had a dollar to their name, but they were happy, they thrived off of that feeling, their love, and no matter how hard it got, they had each other. When they died…" Maura's voice broke off. Jane squeezed Maura's hand, for strength.

"They died together… as they should have, though it was far too early before their time, they left this world without regret, I always dreamed of finding someone to make me feel that way," Maura stared at Jane. Under the intense gaze, Jane's eyes lowered, sadly.

"Jane," Maura spoke after a moment of awkward silence. "You make me feel that way… you make me feel such happiness that I can't even explain in words, and _that_ is saying something for me," she cracked, hoping to make Jane smile. It worked. "You bring light into my life just by letting me wake up in your arms every morning, you make my heart flutter wildly whenever you smile at me," Jane beamed, and Maura's heart began to pound erratically.

"You make me cry, you make me laugh, you make me _feel_,"without releasing Jane's hand, she gathered onto her knees and inched over toward Jane, who stayed where she was, horrified by the gentle rocking of the boat at Maura's sudden movements.

"Maura-" Jane warned, but not from the boat. Maura brought her free hand to Jane's cheek, cradling it softly, Jane leaned into the tender contact and her eyes closed for a moment, to soak in the caress. "Maura…" she repeated, softer this time, like a prayer.

Maura said nothing, Jane's eyes remained close, but she could feel when Maura was close, her breath teasing her lips, and she felt lightheaded with the swarm of emotion rolling over her like a wave. Unable to handle the temptations, Jane's eyes opened, for the briefest of moments, catching Maura's hesitant ones, Jane leaned forward, closing the distance and captured Maura's mouth in a gentle, yet scorching kiss.

Both women moaned simultaneously at the prolonged contact, Maura had missed Jane so dearly, her eyes stung behind her closed lids, with tears of joy at finally being reunited with her lover. Jane swept her tongue along the bottom of Maura's lips, trying to fight off her impatience at having seemingly waited forever for this moment, and tried to slow herself down. She wanted to touch Maura, re-learn every aspect of her body, love her slowly with a sense of appreciation she had never before thought about.

Maura felt the boat press against her back as Jane gently led them down and she reached behind her, grasping for one folded blanket to use as a pillow, before re-wrapping her hands in Jane's bed of curls. She gasped at the first touch of Jane's fingers against her abdomen as they teased along the inch of flesh that had been exposed from her dress that rode up as she'd lay down.

Jane smiled into the kiss as she gently began pushing Maura's dress above her head, she was in awe of the beautiful flesh that rest before her, Maura's chest was bare, having been held up by a brassiere sewn into the dress itself, rising and falling in tandem with Maura's ragged heartbeats. Her eyes were lidded and watched Jane watch her as Jane's eyes grew dark, her lust demanding to take over, but she shoved her own arousal aside to focus on the wonder she was staring at.

"You're so beautiful," Jane purred into Maura's ear, Maura's body trembled with need, her nipples stiffening as Jane touched them, massaging one and then the other. "I'm going to take my time loving you."

Jane's promise made Maura moan her name, low and husky.

"You are overdressed," Maura stated, breathlessly, reaching for Jane's shirt. Jane allowed Maura to pull the shirt over her head and then unclasp her bra. Jane slid out of the clothing, teasingly slow and then jerked forward at Maura's insistence of unbuckling her belt and unzipping her fly, all but trying to get Jane's pants off of her.

Jane stilled her rushed hands and brought them up, kissing each digit, until finally pulling one of Maura's index fingers into her mouth and suckling it. Maura moaned at the heat of Jane's mouth causing the ache in her lower extremities to throb.

"Jane," Maura begged. Jane leaned down, kissing Maura, pinning her arms above her head with one hand, using the other to trail over Maura's chest, abdomen and thigh, before settling between her legs. Maura whimpered at the brief contact Jane's fingers made against her sex.

"Mmm, you're very wet," Jane was surprised by just how soaked Maura was, she could feel her heat against her hand without even needing to touch her, she dipped a finger between Maura's slick folds and rubbed against the swollen bud of her clitoris, causing Maura to jerk involuntarily, and her back arched.

"Jane… _please_," Maura gasped, unable to form a complete sentence, her brain had all but turned to mush by this point. A light sheen of sweat now covered her body in the cool autumn night, the moon glistening overhead, making Maura's porcelain skin glisten, Jane had never seen something more incredible or beautiful than what she was seeing that moment, her heart swelled with the fact that she knew that Maura was hers and hers alone.

Jane began stroking her hand a little harder and a bit quicker with each thrust of Maura's hips. Maura moaned and squirmed more as Jane brought her closer to the edge.

"_God_, _Jane!_" Maura cried, Jane could sense that she was getting close, her hips thrusting frantically to meet Jane's movements, she desperately tried to hold on as Jane released her hands and they wound around her lover, clawing at Jane's back before resting around her neck, her legs came up and she hooked her ankles around Jane's calves for support.

Finally, Jane lowered herself down, pressing a hot kiss to the pulse point on Maura's neck, feeling how hard it pounded against her lips, she nibbled Maura's ear, and whispered in a hot, breathy voice.

"I love you, so much, Maura Isles," and plunged two fingers into Maura's tight, wet sex. That was all it took for Maura to cry out into the night, nearly shattering Jane's eardrum as she rode out her climax, Jane pumped her fingers in and out of Maura, allowing her lover to ride it out as long as she could, she could feel the boat rocking in tandem with Maura's thrusts and Jane waited patiently for Maura to come back down to Earth.

Maura's eyes began to open slowly, after having rolled back into her head, and she regained control of her breathing patterns as she lowered her chin to see Jane resting peacefully against Maura's stomach, smiling up at her, eyes filled with passion and love.

"Jane," Maura's eyes clouded with tears, she smiled at her lover. "I… I love you, _God_ do I love you, so much." A single tear fell from her face and Jane shushed her gently with a kiss, crawling up to press her body over Maura's feeling the woman shiver, she reached back up onto the stern and grabbed another blanket to wrap over them.

"What about-" Maura protested but Jane once more silenced her.

"Don't worry about it, Maura," Jane smiled, when Maura opened her mouth to protest, Jane kissed her, gently. "I just want to lie here with you in my arms… nothing else matters to me right now."

"Okay," Maura agreed, feeling her eyes droop with the heavy assault of exhaustion. Jane had wrapped herself around Maura, using the blanket and her body heat to keep Maura warm. Maura breathed in the heavy scent of Jane's body and shampoo and snuggled into her, Jane moved to accommodate Maura and then winced when a sharp corner of something pressed into her backside.

She shifted again and then reached around, Maura, feeling Jane rustle around, noticed the look of surprise and recollection on Jane's face.

"What is it?" Maura asked. Jane looked at Maura and slowly, her eyes began to brighten with an idea.

"Maura, do you love me?" Jane asked, gently. Her voice was small and uncertain, but she held Maura's eyes as Maura's jaw dropped and she almost couldn't believe Jane was asking her such a question.

"Of course I do, Jane," Maura reasoned. "I just told you that."

"I know, but… I love hearing you say it," Jane smiled, and leaned forward to kiss Maura again. Maura giggled into the kiss.

"I love you, Jane Rizzoli," Maura spoke, kissing Jane again. Her eyes sparkled with mirth; Jane seemed so childish at times, but in a good way.

"You trust me?" Jane asked, again Maura wondered where on Earth Jane was becoming so insecure after they had just made love, but she smiled, her eyes softening at Jane's earnest features.

"With my life," Maura responded. Jane's smile grew wider. She sat up and helped Maura to sit up with her.

"Close your eyes," Jane whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind Maura's eyes. Maura's eyebrow rose in question and she smiled hesitantly at Jane. Jane kissed her again. "Close. Your. Eyes," Jane kissed her to punctuate every word.

Maura's eyes closed on the last and she continued to smile, she felt Jane lift her arm and twine their fingers together, she tried to close her fingers over Jane's hand but then she released Maura's hand and Maura felt Jane slip something onto her ring finger.

Maura's nose scrunched in confusion at the soft weight of cool metal on her hand, it fit comfortably but Maura's heart began to pound in vivid understanding, a kiss from Jane on that same finger made her thoughts linger. Jane watched her lover's face, smiling.

"Alright, love, you can open them now," Maura's eyes snapped open from the anticipation and Jane watched as Maura's eyes immediately searched her hand that Jane cradled. Jane watched, on baited breath as Maura's eyes found the ring and swirled with a myriad of emotions from confusion, to understanding, to fear and then finally to unbridled love.

"Jane…" Maura's voice hitched, laced with an even mixture of fear and desire. Her eyes admired the beautiful moonstone set into the pronged silver band that almost looked as if it were cut into a heart-shape, a total of about eleven or more smaller diamonds sat on either side of the moonstone in the prong setting, twinkling in the moonlight. She knew it was Jane's great-grandmothers ring, but the beauty of the antique left her breathless, as she had never seen it so close up before.

"Maura," Jane lifted Maura's chin, meeting her eyes, Maura's were lined with tears."These last few weeks, since the accident, were the hardest that I have ever been through, I was always terrified, always wondering whether I would ever be normal again," she saw the pain flash in Maura's eyes. "I realized something when I was in that hospital, even lying in a coma, that no matter how frightened I was, you were there.. holding my hand to ensure me that no matter what happened, you'd always be there."

"Oh, Jane," Maura blinked rapidly, cursing the tears that threatened to fall. Jane kissed the spot right beneath her eyes and then looked back at Maura, hesitating but smiling brightly as she spoke again.

"Marry me, Maura," Jane's voice shook, but her message was clear. "I hate myself for causing you pain, but I love you so much that I cannot stand the thought of ever losing you again, I just don't know how to live without you."

Maura was silent; replaying Jane's words again and again in her head like her favorite song, in the distance Maura could see the fireflies buzzing around in the night, beyond the weeping willows that brushed along the water's surface. Jane began to grow more anxious with every second that ticked by until finally Maura's face broke out into a wide smile.

Jane was on her toes, figuratively of course, feeling as though she were on the edge of a deep canyon and it would only take one wrong move for her to fall and never get back up. Finally, Maura broke the ice...

"Well are you gonna kiss me or not?"

Jane beamed at the obvious answer, and Maura's smile spread wider as she lifted her now ringed hand to round Jane's neck and pull her close, kissing her deeply with every ounce of love she held in her heart.

"I love you, Jane," Maura spoke into the kiss. "Yes, of course I'll marry you!"

"And I, you, Maura," Jane returned, elated and ecstatic. She moaned slightly when Maura's hands lowered down Jane's back and teased along the waistline of her jeans.

"Now about these pants…" Maura grinned, leering.

* * *

**AN:** Another chapter down! I am SO honored by all of you who are still following and reviewing, my heart is overflowing with joy each time I get an email alert to you all replying, please keep it up! Lets see what happens next! :)

**MAURAS ENGAGEMENT RING:** www. kaboodle. com / reviews/ 14k-wg-moonstone-diamond-heart-ring (copy and paste in browser without the spaces to see what I used for the ring!)


	9. Canon

**Title: **_Better Than A Memory_

**Author:** LJBard

**Disclaimer: **I OWN NOTHING!

**Reviews: **I'll give ya a cookie! :)

**A/N: **The time has come to wrap this puppy up! Thanks to all of you who have made this adventure so much fun to experience! Enjoy!

-9-

Jane awoke to prickle of cool air on her legs and then hissed in the mild agony that burned through her side from having lain in the same position all night in the boat, curled up around Maura, with not much room to move, she began to feel the sting of numerous swollen bite marks that were irritated along her legs from the mosquitoes, Maura was still wrapped tightly underneath their shared blanket and paid no heed to the marks along her arms or legs, the repellant must have worn off from their activities of the night that left them exhausted and sweaty.

Jane lifted her head and was careful to not move too quickly to jostle the woman in her arms, and more important, the boat they were still sitting in. When Jane turned her head, however, panic began to set in when she could not see anything around them for miles but water and willows, the sky was gray with dusk, and she could hear the calls of the birds.

"Maura," she hissed. "Maura, wake up," Jane ignored Maura's groans of protest and her attempts to block Jane's voice out by pulling the blanket over her head.

"Five minutes," Maura grumbled. Any other time, Jane would be more than awed at her lover's childish routine of hating the mornings.

"Maura, I think we're lost at sea," Jane's fear crept through Maura's consciousness, and Maura's eyes snapped open as she shot up, rocking the boat in the process, causing Jane to swear loudly and grip the edge for dear life, the blanket fell from Maura's naked form and Jane suddenly gawked at the beauty of Maura in the morning sun.

"Oh, lord, I knew I should have docked us to a tree stub before we passed out-" Maura rubbed her face to help rouse, and then turned her tired eyes toward Jane with worry. "Are you alright, Jane?"

"Uhh-" Jane did not hear Maura, as she continued to gaze at her lover with no reserve. Maura then followed Jane's eyes and blushed with a soft 'oh' forming on her lips. She reached for the blanket and recovered her chest, but Jane stopped her hand, her left hand at the fact, and stared openly at the ring with undying affection in her warm eyes. A smile broke onto her face.

"Good morning," Jane leaned forward and kissed Maura soundly. Maura smiled into the kiss, moaning softly.

"Mmm, good morning, love," she used her free hand to wrap around Jane's neck, tangling in her wild hair, feeling herself get lost in her re-found lover.

A sudden bird call, however, caused Maura to pull away and Jane pouted.

"Shit," Maura swore. Jane's eyes went wide as saucers.

"Maura… you swore!" Jane cackled. Maura shushed her, and then listened. "Maura?"

"Hear that?" Maura whispered. Jane perked her ears and heard nothing but a bird call.

"What are we listening for?" Jane asked, lowering her tone.

"That's Remy… we have to go," Maura reached for her shirt.

"Remy? I don't hear him-?"

"That birdcall, its Remy's whistle… he used to blare it if I accidentally fell asleep here on the river… we have to go, the wedding is today!" Maura sighed, frustrated. "I can't believe I forgot-"

"It's okay, Maura- we'll get back… won't we?" Jane asked, a little unsure as she pulled on her socks and pants, watching Maura hurried to get dressed and grabbed the oars.

"Depends on how fast I can paddle this thing, come on, help me get this oar-" Maura yelped as one fell into the water. "_Shit,_" she swore, louder this time as the paddle slipped and began to slowly float away.

If it weren't for the serious situation, Jane would have laughed and mimicked her girlfriend, instead she swallowed her fear and leapt into the water, hearing Maura shout at her.

Jane's eyes stung as she opened them under the murky water, trying to remember which way was up, she kicked her legs, controlling her heart rate as the past fear of that day in Boston Harbor flashed through her mind. She finally surfaced, gasping in and spitting out the algae that covered her face.

"Jane!" Maura cried. "Don't you _ever_ do that to me! Jesus, that water is filthy, get back in here!" Jane sputtered, keeping herself afloat with her legs, she removed the green goo from her eyes and looked around, she held back the bile in her throat as she saw that she was literally swimming in a swamp. But the oar was just within a few inches of her reach, she swam over and retrieved it and grinned over at Maura.

"One of us had to do it – AHH!" she felt something slimy slither past her in the water and she began to panic. "Something's in here!"

"Jane!" Maura's voice was laced with fear, but she calmed herself to make Jane feel easier, her main concern was getting Jane back in the boat, she knew very well of the dangers that lived in these waters.

"Maura… grab it," Jane managed to hold the oar out for Maura, who grabbed the slippery pole and jerked it into the boat, then reached for Jane. Jane tried to get into the boat, but as it nearly tipped and pulled Maura in, she reared back. "How do I get in without tipping that thing?"

Jane could see no real way of getting back in but as another waft between her legs made her squeal, Maura grabbed her by the collar and pulled, nearly gagging the brunette.

"MAURA!" Jane yelped.

"Jane, get up here, you don't want to be in that water, it's filled _Anguilliformes_," Maura rushed, desperately.

"With _wha-_" Jane paused at the sudden electric jolt on her left foot. "SHIT!" she jumped nearly a foot out of the water as her foot went numb and then panicked to resurface as she flailed in the water.

"EEL, JANE!" Maura shouted when Jane was above the water, she was covered in algae and muck and cried relentlessly as she felt two more jolts, one to the right thigh and another on her hand.

"MAURA GET ME… OUT - OF TH…IS WATER!" Jane sputtered. Before she knew it, there was a splash and she felt something grab her behind and push her up, she screamed and then fell back she looked at the boat and noticed it was empty.

_Oh. My. – _Jane suddenly felt another push from under her and she realized she was correct in her assumptions, but held her beliefs until she was able to latch onto the side of the boat and hoisted herself in. Jane landed on her back and then quickly recovered and reached out to pull Maura into the boat.

It nearly tipped but then Maura was on top of her, coughing and covered in algae.

"Maura…" Jane coughed. "_Unbelievable!_"

"Wha – what did you expect?" Maura gasped. "I had to get you in the boat-"

"You.. you dove into the wa-water?" Jane asked incredulously. Maura was sitting up and now inspecting Jane's forearm, Jane looked down and noticed she was shaking uncontrollably, there was a large red welt on the bottom of her foot and arm, her thigh, she couldn't be certain as it was covered by her jeans.

"M-Maura?" Jane trembled. "Will I be okay?"

"Yes," Maura sighed, and then looked at Jane, and she watched worry contort to fear, and then anger. "_What_ were you thinking!"

"Me?" Jane asked, stunned. "I was _thinking_ we would get stuck out here without that other oar!"

"Jane, I had another! I could have just paddled us over to it without you having to jump into this mess and have me pull you out!" Maura near-shrieked.

"Are you _kidding _me?" Jane snapped. "I tried to do something heroic and all you can do is yell at me!" Her anger grew.

"Yes, Jane, because we all know that the _last_ time you did something _heroic_, you nearly wound up DEAD!" Maura's anger slipped back into fear and then tears fell from her eyes. She looked away, face red and blotched with tears. Jane instantly sobered and reached out to dry them, Maura slapped her hand away and Jane recoiled, offended and hurt.

"Maura -"

"Save it," Maura snapped, still hurt. "We have to get back and get ready; I won't be late to Remy's ceremony."

Jane watched silently as Maura put distance between herself and Jane, Jane let her have her space, knowing where Maura was coming from, although her stubbornness was still trying to rear with a comeback, she bit her tongue.

They made their way back to shore, without a word, and Jane saw Remy on the porch, pacing nervously in a clean button up shirt that was unbuttoned with a t-shirt beneath, half tucked into his black slacks, bow tie was haphazardly tossed around his neck. He wasn't wearing any shoes, his face was clean shaven, but held a few bloody tissue pieces along his neck and chin where he had nicked the skin too close, his hair was still in disarray and his eyes wild, he was holding what looked to be like a wooden flute in his right hand. He spotted the two of them and his shoulders sagged in relief.

"_T'ere_ you both are!" he sighed, coming to the docks to help them off of the boat. "What on Earth, 'chere? T'e weddin's in an hour!" he then scrunched his nose at the sight of them covered in algae, and mud water.

"Did ya'll have a nice swim?" he cracked a crooked smile that instantly dropped from Maura's stern glare as she huffed past him into the house, Jane watched her go, remorseful. Remy looked at Jane and then at his cousin's retreating back.

"Everyt'ing alright, 'chere?" he asked, cautiously, an eyebrow raised.

"Yeah," Jane said, wringing out her hair, wincing at the horrid smell. "Sorry about that."

"'Bout what?" Remy shrugged. "Don' worry, it ain't like she won't wait fer me." His cheer did nothing to soothe Jane's own fears about Maura and her argument. She continued to replay Maura's words from the incident.

"D'you have more than one shower, Remy?" Jane asked, letting out a tired sigh. How could she have gone from having such a wonderful, memorable night with Maura, making them both happier than they ever had been, to suddenly worrying whether she'd be receiving her grandmothers' ring back before it even got put to good use?

"T'ere's one in the work shed," Remy nodded. "'Round back, ain't gonna get warm water, but yeh can at least clean off t'at smell."

"Thanks," Jane sighed, and followed Remy around to an old rusted out tin work shed where the concrete floor was covered with dust, straw and God only knew what kind of chemicals from the old broken down Mustang that sat in the center.

"Ain't she a beaut?" Remy patted the hood of the car. "She was me pop's first love."

"She's… something, alright," Jane tried to smile, but the fear in her mind continued as she stepped behind the shower curtain and began to disrobe, suddenly realizing her change of clothes was in the house. "Shit… Remy-" she peeked her head around the curtain, already naked, eyeing Remy sympathetically.

"Already on it, I'll grab yeh a towel, too," he smirked, knowingly. "Anyt'ing yeh need in particular?"

"My outfit is in the chair by the door, I'll go inside for the rest once I am clothed," Jane responded. "Oh, Remy?" she called, Remy, who was at the entrance of the shed, on his way out, turned. "Thanks."

He smiled, brightly.

"Ain't nothin' but a t'ing," he smiled and headed for the house. She smiled, she really liked that cooky Cajun, until she turned the water on. Jane's sudden yelp could be heard for miles.

-x-

They arrived at the church with ten minutes to spare. The ride was a tad uncomfortable as Jane and Maura were forced to sit next to each other in the front cab of Remy's truck, Jane rolled her eyes at passerby's who honked at them since it was decked out in white paint that read _JUST GOT HITCHED_ on the tailgate and numerous crazy other sayings like _LUCKY DAWG_ and _BOUT DAMN TIME_ were written along the bed, a long stream of tin cans and Wal-Mart shopping bags were tied to the back, clanging along the roadway.

Maura was wearing an elegant, strapless powder blue Vera Wang dress, the skirt flowed just below her knees and the top piece had beautiful rivets that accentuated Maura's curves nicely, she added an even deeper blue shawl to tie around the waist, strappy four-inch heels and a simple necklace with a snowflake pendant that Jane had never recalled seeing before.

Jane, on the other hand, was wearing an eccentrically beaded black skirt that reached just down to her ankles and a navy blue button down shirt whose buttons ended right above the valley of her breasts, so she wore a stark white t-shirt beneath to cover her cleavage, she had attempted to somewhat straighten her hair to pull it back into a decent ponytail, however, she was certain it probably looked like the backside of a horse. She was only surprised that Maura had nothing to comment about on her choice of clothing, knowing certainly well that she'd probably get the third degree about it later… if there was a later.

She frowned and looked at Maura through her peripheral vision as they neared the church, seeing Maura stare straight ahead, her body was rigid, and posture almost unbreakable, she was still upset with Jane, but hiding it well to accommodate the oncoming wedding celebrations.

"There you are!" Bart, who was acting as Best Man for Remy, opened the door for Jane, exclaimed loudly. Bart had clearly shaved as well, Jane remembered his fire-red beard from the night before, now missing and she reached up to pick a piece of bloodied tissue from his chin. He smiled in thanks, and pushed his black framed glasses up his nose, rounding on Remy.

"They were worried you'd done run off! Hurry up and get inside, everyone is waiting-" he rushed to his best friend. He then turned around with pleasantries and offered both Maura and Jane one of his arms, and led them up the stairs to the beautiful, yet small white church.

Remy ran past the pews, nearly tripping over the set of stairs where the pastor stood, smiling with a knowing glint in his beady gray eyes. The church was almost filled with nameless faces that Jane did not dare try to count, Maura released herself from Bart, who continued to usher Jane forward toward the front pews. Jane however, followed Maura with her eyes until she could no longer see her as the doors to the back of the church closed.

"Wait – Maura.." she hissed. Bart shuffled her forward however until she sat obediently, and scowled at him before he smiled and took his place next to Remy. Jane tried to twist around the pew to see where Maura had gone, was she really _so_ upset she would not sit by her? Jane worried.

"You a friend of the bride or the groom?" asked a gentleman next to her. Jane righted herself and turned toward the low drawl, and nearly yelped in shock of her bad luck of being placed near the creepy brother of the bride from last night, when she noticed the naval service uniform. _Charlie_. She remembered, and then offered a polite smile.

"Groom," she stated, simply. His green eyes were kind and twinkled with recognition.

"Your Maura's friend… Jane, right?" he asked, merely curious.

"Yes," she replied, now turning away and trying to see where _Maura_ had gone to, recalling the truths that she had heard about Charlie being an old flame. Soon, however, she could no longer see as the music began to play from the organs and she was forced to stand, along with everyone else, and she turned toward the front, scowling.

_How could Maura have just practically ditched me at her own cousin's wedding? She has to be here somewhere… damn it…_ Jane thought as she looked up at Remy, who was beaming at the center aisle. She waited for a moment before the sight of blonde hair flashed in her peripheral vision.

_Maura!_

Jane's head snapped to the side so fast, she nearly caused herself whiplash, she winced, but it did nothing to take away the sight of Maura slowly ascending the small set of stairs to stand on Katie's side of the church. _When did she suddenly become a part of the wedding?_ Jane tried to recall whether Maura had even told her so, but as she looked over at Maura, she saw Maura look back at her and her eyes flashed with something… _unfamiliar_.

She then saw Maura holding her hands together and fiddling with something… the _ring_. Jane's heart leapt into her throat as she noticed Maura fidget nervously with the ring and offer a sweet smile to Jane, the look spoke volumes to the Detective as she felt a wave of relief wash over her at the thought that Maura had still kept the ring and by her smile, she doubted that Maura wanted to return it.

Maura watched Jane watch her from the aisle, momentarily breaking contact to respect Katie's moment as she reached the stairs with Shep escorting her. The organ stopped and all was silent, the pastor beamed.

"Who gives this woman to this man?" his voice echoed throughout the church, without even needing to raise his voice.

"I do, her father, Sheppard Walker Hamilton," Shep spoke clearly, his voice cracking with emotion as he faced his daughter, lifting her veil and kissed both of her cheeks before offering her hand over to Remy's. Remy accepted it firmly, and smiled at Shep, before his eyes landed on his beautiful bride.

"Take care of her, son," Shep whispered. Katie was a sight in her simple, yet beautiful dress; she stepped up and handed her bouquet of red roses and calla lilies to Maura. Maura accepted them with a tearful smile.

"Be seated," the pastor spoke and a rustle of noise could be heard as everyone took their seats, Jane took a moment longer, transfixed by Maura's beauty, the sun shone down through the stained glass windows, framing her lover in a rainbow of assorted colors, Maura looked back at Jane, beaming.

_I love you,_ their thoughts connected as Jane took her seat and hardly heard the pastor's long speech about love and commitment, and eternity, all Jane could see was Maura.

Maura walking toward her, down the aisle, Frankie by her side as her best man, her mother blubbering in the front pew about her 'baby girl' finally settling down. Maura in white, smiling at her with love in her eyes as much as she held in them right at this moment, Maura saying those magical words, Maura kissing her more passionately than ever before… Maura walking down the aisle on her arm, for the first time, side by side, as her wife…

Jane's eyes finally broke from Maura's gaze as the pastor decreed Remy and Katie husband and wife.

"You may now kiss your bride," the pastor blessed. Remy lifted Katie's veil and took her face in his hands, careful to not smudge her makeup, and kissed her beautifully. Smiles so wide on both their faces that it became more of a teeth clash than a kiss, causing the church to erupt in laughter and applause, the organ began playing again and Remy finally broke the kiss with his new wife, breathless.

They were both red-faced and had tears of joy in their eyes as they both beamed down at their family and friends. Bart clapped Remy on the shoulder and the two hugged like brothers, Katie leaned forward and shared a kiss on the cheek with Maura, accepting her bouquet back before the two began walking back down the aisle, hand in hand.

Jane bustled to follow the streamline of guests outside of the church for the annual throwing of the rice, and waited on the steps, hoping to catch Maura before they began, her hopes were dashed when she turned at the tap on her shoulder to be faced with Charlie, handing her a bag of rice. She smiled, again politely, and took the offering before twisting away, slightly saddened. Maura was nowhere in sight.

The bells of the church began to ring and Jane untied the small bag of rice as the doors burst open and suddenly the shower began as Jane poured the bag in her hand, mimicking the others and tossed it in the air over the bride and grooms' heads. Remy laughed and kissed his bride for show and the two, still beaming brightly, ran to escape the shower of rice, Remy kidded by trying to use Katie's veil as a shield.

"T'ere'll be a small gatherin' at t'e Roadhouse 'fore we take off!" Remy shouted after ensuring his wife was in the truck. "Make sure to come if ya want a free round on me!" he then ran around in the vehicle and started the engine as the rice followed them until they peeled out of the parking lot. Jane laughed along with everyone else until a small tap on her shoulder made her hold her breath in a moment of hope. She was not disappointed when she turned around to see Maura standing before her, smiling tenderly.

"I thought you would've already caught a ride with someone-" Jane half-joked, hoping Maura would not hear the catch in her voice as she spoke her worry. Maura arched an eyebrow in confusion but then her smile widened as she reached up with her left hand, Jane caught a momentary glance at the ring on her finger.

"That would be awful of me, considering that I came here with my fiancée and I am pretty sure that Remy and Katie would not appreciate it if I left her behind at the church," Maura teased, and then stood on her tiptoes to press a soft kiss to Jane's lips. Jane moaned into the kiss at hearing Maura claim her as her fiancée.

"So you're not mad at me anymore, I take it?" Jane asked, still concerned.

"I am still a bit hurt," Maura admitted. "But I think we both need to start overcoming our fears and just learn to accept one another for who we are. You deal with my insecurities, and I help you through yours."

"Sounds like a plan," Jane smiled, pressing her forehead to Maura's, kissing her lips sweetly. Maura then showed her other hand, holding the bridal bouquet. Jane's eyes widened.

"Tell me again, Jane as I am still unfamiliar with the tradition… the one who catches the bouquet of the bride…?" Maura tilted her head, smiling adorably.

"Means that you're next in line to marry," Jane finished, beaming. Maura's eyes sparkled.

"I like the sound of that tradition," she said. "And I very much love _you_, Jane Angela Rizzoli."

"And I, you, Maura Elizabeth Isles," Jane kissed her. "And I, you." Jane's hands wound around Maura's waist and held her close as the kiss turned passionate and Jane was in bliss, accident or no accident, memory or no, Maura Isles was in her heart, in her _soul_, and nothing could ever keep Jane from loving the woman in her arms as much as she did right now.

**FIN**

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AN:

All done! BAHAHAHAHA, no not rly, I do have one more installment prepared, but I need to know whether you guys think its worth reposting? :) Please be kind, Feed The Bard your reviews because I thrive off of them like a hobo on crack o.O Hope you enjoyed the story, thanks for reading! :) 


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